Season 1: Episode 5 – Book Review – Aggressive & Invincible Mask

“Imagine the moments just before a cage fight. The cheering crowd. The threatening opponent in the corner, flexing, shadow-boxing, bouncing rhythmically on the balls of his feet, ready for someone to ring the bell so he can pounce. The highlight reel of his past victories plays on the jumbo-tron—man after man hitting the canvas or tapping desperately as the air gets choked out of them. Think about all the money on the line. The bragging rights. The years of training that led up to this moment.
And now think, how would you feel if you were the fighter about to enter the cage to face your opponent? Afraid? Anxious? Angry? Numb? Worried? You’d be a perfectly normal human being to feel those things.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Some of you may or may not know my story about being a child, but back in 2003, I went through a phase where I saw a lot of aggression.  On the first day of school. my mother was laid off work.  We went from having a lot of food, to having very little food in the house.  My mom did everything she could to keep peace and calm in the house, but when the lights got cut off, it persisted.  There was a time my brother confronted me at band practice and we got in a fight.  His punk ass (and I mean that out of total disrespect — lol) ran home to tell my mom first.  When I got home, my mom was screaming at me, and so was my brother, which lead to me running away from home for the first night in my life.  For a mother to take someone’s side, as angry an individual one will ever meet (my brother) without hearing me first, was heartbreaking.

These things continued festering when my long-time crush, Adriana, ended up dumping me.  Following that, a manipulative girl by the name of Maria came into my life and left without a trace, too.

Going into December, I had an insane amount of anger.  There was a jazz band playing in the band room one afternoon — one of the most depressing songs ever that had stuck with me, and still does, to this day. I told my brother what was happening and he could relate.  Remember, if you’re depressed, the goal is to not be around depressed people. My mom, out of desperation, sold a truck to my uncle’s girlfriend (and the truck she got from her father).  She got a much needed $2500 USD from her, not to mention that a long time family friend had came over the previous three weeks with a full Thanksgiving dinner for us — seeing my mom reduce to tears.

Shortly after the New Years, my mother got a new job and that dark cloud that was hanging over our family for the third quarter of 2003 had gone away.  However, something was still inside me.

I would scream and slam controllers on my upstairs bedroom floor when I lost in Blitz 2003.  My mom would yell at the top of her lungs, screaming violently at me “IT’S JUST A F***ING GAME!”

That last time i overreacted was a basketball game: UNC vs. Duke.  UNC lost by a nailbiter and my reaction was so terrifying that my mother glanced at her friend, who was sitting right next to her, and asked him “is something wrong with my son?”

Days later, a kid name Manny approached me and asked about joining the high school Track & Field team.  That weekend I tried out and made the team.  Yes, there was just a small snippet of aggression and uncontrollable rage remaining in me at the time (my brother swayed my mother into not buying some shoes for me and I ended up crying really bad in the back seat of my mother’s vehicle).  After that, that was the last time I could remember being so emotionally distraught.

Aggression builds up.  There are so many areas, in my life, where I could’ve pinpointed what actually happened.  You can only connect the dots looking back.

“That said, the real problem for the development of young men is when aggression is the primary outlet for their pain, their sadness, their anxiety, and their anger.
Unaddressed anger is the glue that keeps the Aggressive Mask stuck in place, starting very early and lasting, in many cases, for decades. There is research on this, and it testifies to how much young boys, in particular, are soaked in anger. For many of them, anger is the only emotion that is “acceptable” to express.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Invincible Mask Podcast

Today’s Podcast

Interviewee #17 – AJ’s Fitness Journey & Entrepreneurship

First time I met this man, I was in awe.  The size of him was unlike anything I had ever seen in my life.  If I can compare him to Evander Holyfield, one of America’s famous boxers, he’s a bit close.  Nonetheless, after chatting it up with him and hearing/seeing his charisma + his story, I decided to bring him on the show.

AJ is an NSCA Certified Personal Trainer and Strength and Conditioning coach.

​AJ’s athletic background and his ongoing curiosity to the latest nutrition and exercise research fuels his passion to assist and educate individuals in fulfilling any fitness and wellness goals. AJ strongly believes in taking a multi-dimensional approach towards optimal health and works with his clients to find ways to incorporate it in their lifestyles.

Get in touch with AJ of Bangkok, Thailand

– About fitness training, personal training and coaching.

Links:

 

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction about himself.
  • How long has AJ been in Bangkok.
  • How he started his work for the Lab and how long he’s been working for the Lab?
  • Discussing about the beginning of his fitness journey.
  • How he ended up in ESPN as a boxer.
  • How he ended up in the national championship.
  • Decision to become a personal trainer in boxing.
  • When the last time he fought in a boxing match.
  • How he ended up in other fields like engineering, teaching Mathematics, being  an online teacher, and digital nomading by travelling to Europe, India and Asia?
  • Your advice on about being a digital nomad or location – independent entrepreneurs.
  • Advise to people about being digital nomads or location – independent.
  • You need to be dedication in your work or side hustling by investing yourself.
  • Find something that is helping you and others. Think big and dare to dream.
  • Why the interviewee ended up in Thailand.
  • Applying teaching jobs from Thailand, South Korea and China.
  • When did you decide to become a fitness trainer?
  • How he branded himself as a fitness trainer?
  • Why the most fit is considered unhealthy?
  • How do you approach your fitness and your health?
  • Talking about mindfulness and personal development.
  • Talking about diets.
  • Be attentive to what and how you are doing with your body and your fitness.
  • Make the wholesome food as your priority in your health and diet.
  • You need to have quality diets between farm raised meat and plant based.
  • Your opinions on about keto-diet from a personal trainer.
  • Do your research about certain diets and lifestyles before you make a decision on which to follow.
  • Marketing about AJ’s personal branding.
  • Balance all in mindfulness, relationships, health and personal development, that’s what it’s all about being healthy.
  • What is the interviewee’s inspiration?
  • What is the interviewee’s outlook from 2 years from now?
  • What is the most difficult workout?
  • What is the number one condition for fat burning?

 

Thank you for listening!

 

Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast. Please do write down some feedbacks and comments. Please do share this podcast to your social media.

 

Links:

Lewis Howes: The Know-It-All Mask – Introduction

“Have you ever noticed how people tend to fill the dead time in a conversation or a meeting by rambling on about some random topic? Have you ever watched someone you work with try to impress the people around them by going on a long rant about something you can’t even pronounce? Have you ever seen someone in an important setting suck the air out of the room by making it all about them? They always have a response, they can’t let anything go, and they have to show you how smart they are.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Welcome to the Know-It-All Mask!

Not off the top of my head, but I’ve worked with quiet a few people in the past and present who can just ra-ra-ra the world with their impeccability of BS – LOL. It took me a while to think about it, but there were times I would be around individuals and they can talk about just a bunch of bs that would go on and on when I was in the midst of doing something.  Luckily towards the end of my tenures, I stopped talking to these particular beings, resulting in a lot of free-time.

One of my students, who was a brilliant speaker, said to me, “ummm teacher _________ knows a lot.  He knows everything.” Yeah, he knows everything so much that he doesn’t allow you to speak, huh?

Sometimes you do have to just take the seat in the back, as a teacher, and shut the heck up.

Now, I won’t put his name out there, but obviously there are a lot of entrepreneurs who just don’t shut up and listen, even when interviewing men who have amassed over 50 billion USD over their lifetime.  From philanthropists — to Hedgefund leaders — it just always seems that they need to be the center of attention.  We love talking, especially people who know a lot about everything, but there comes a time when you just have to be a listener.

I’ve done 8 podcast interviews, starting from last year, and I really just allow my guests to speak.  That’s the sole purpose of doing the interview…..you asking the questions and getting the best out of them, such as what Larry King does.  Larry King is a superb interviewer because all of his questions are so centered/focused on the person sitting across from him.

One of the funniest instances I had was four years ago.  I had to go to a meeting at a language center where the staff looked at me in more bad ways than one, and the owner of the language center looked down upon me for even more obvious reasons.  Anywho, I sat in a room with three teachers throwing ideas out there for an English camp, and when I came around to give my two cents (after asking to do so), a teacher by the name of Nicole ran all over me and shot me down.  She wanted to do ALL THE TALKING and then later told me that I tried talking too much during the meeting, although I counted 1-2 sentences in the 30-minute session.  She was absolutely one of those people who would run over me from left to right.  From the first day I met her at one of the worst English camps, to this particular one where the commute was much longer.

She was right about one thing.  I wasn’t changing my mindset about Thai women — and was losing fast.  That’s about it.  Having a strong personality like that around is unbelievably draining.

I need to get much better at listening, too.  I get easily distracted, but now I go back to the previous conversation and ask deeper questions.

“It’s like the line in Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho: “That’s what the world is like: People talk as if they know everything, but if you dare to ask a question, they don’t know anything.”
Here’s the thing: If we’re being honest with ourselves, then we’d admit that none of us know anything. I think Coelho would even agree that nobody really knows what the hell they are doing. We’re all just making it up as we go along. ”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: Invincible Mask – What Can You Do Right Now?

A lot of people do big things or risky things to get the attention of others.  Remember at the beginning I talked about one of my students’ brother who slammed into a pillar at high speeds, intoxicated and ultimately killing himself.  He was unrecognizable after it happened.  Before he got on his bike, he told everyone that he was safe to drive, although he was completely inebriated.  He was going welllll over the speed limit and resulted in him no longer being able to live.

A many of these “van” boys drive at top speeds with spoilers off, trying to get the attention of women on the streets.  This gives them that since of invincibility and that’s why Thailand, by percentage, has the highest traffic fatality in the WORLD.  These adrenaline junkies are always looking for the next thrill.

So what can you do? What if you stole, or do things that could question the law just to get the attention of women? More importantly, what’s available if you take off the mask?

A fulfilled and healthy life span
Deeper relationships
Self-esteem
True courage
The permission to just be and not constantly do
A sense of belonging

Ask yourself these questions

What is valuable to me?

Friendships.  That invincible mask that Billy had on — I had on, too.  I would treat my best friend Andre like crap over the years, and after my run yesterday, he spilled the beans on how I treated them from a “funny” aspect.  However, I didn’t look at it as funny.  I was embodying anger from when Billy use to treat me like crap, so I wanted to dish out those feelings, too.

Andre is everything to me.  The most valuable friendship I have today.  When he speaks, I absolutely listen and take thought to it.

What do I value about my life?

I honestly need to stop playing the “black” card, as the Irish teacher told me.  I love that he’s in my face about it, because he shows me how much of a magnificent being I can truly become.  This is why I love the fact that I am “different.”  Just last night I was thinking to myself, “oh man! Look at all of these anglo men in the picture of this company that sent me those jobs three days ago.  No wonder I can’t get the job!”  Self-doubt.  I still have that lingering deep within my bloodlines, and it’s something I need to address immediately.

What am I looking for in these activities?

Can I see the true value in friendships and myself?

Can I get those things elsewhere in my life?

Absolutely NOT.  Once I’m gone, I’m gone forever.

Additional Questions In The Podcast

 

Lewis Howes: Invincible Mask – Part IV

I have a very interesting story to speak about in regards  to my childhood best friend Billy.  Despite Billy calling me poor for a year or two, I was still his friend.

Billy lived in the “corner house” of my block.  Red hair, freckles, beautiful sister, young brother who would scream, fantastic mother and a questionable father.  Yes, questionable.  I won’t say it like that, but as a child I noticed things.  I noticed anger inside of him.  He didn’t speak much to the family.  His mother would always say, “your father is coming home so I need to cook and we need to have this house in perfect shape.”

I still remember the night between 1999-2000 when I heard a slam in their kitchen.  Bill had slammed the oven door and started to scream at Jo in regards to the food and she instantly started crying.  I ran home as quick as I can because….well my mother was already getting in full-fledge knife wars with my father.  I didn’t want to see that there and go home and see the same thing.

Later Bill apologized.  Nonetheless, this man was stacked with money.  Not sure what his job was, but Billy would have presents on top of presents on top of presents during the holidays, reducing me to tears of jealousy in the process.

Billy went on a hiatus in 2004 before showing up against in 2010.  His sister had become just a gorgeous 18-19-year-old, Billy was massive and his mother was still the most loving woman she’s always been.

Billy and I talked about those years in the backyard of his house for hours and he broke words about his fathers true intentions.  Although I won’t reveal what they were, let’s just say it was a humanity – type of company he was peddling in the foothills of Pahrump – the place he would go 95% of the month.  Now I understand where the money had come from.

I don’t know exactly what that mask was, but Billy wore it.  Billy war the “I have more money than you mask” in the year 2000.  He would call me poor constantly because his mother donated some 2nd-hand furniture to my mother so we can have a furnished downstairs.  I know, “that’s totally not a friend.”  He was maybe 9-years-old, so I won’t put it up against him completely.  However, after his father lost everything (blessing in disguise), Billy ended up being on my level.  He didn’t have food in the house.  He didn’t have those great holidays.  He didn’t have ANYTHING.  I never went back to rub it in his face, but he got a hard dose of reality, which he was actually dishing out to other people, including me.

He was no longer invincible.

I have and had gone through emotional health problems as a child.  I went through emotional withdrawals with my mother, my brother, and even my sisters.  I wasn’t taking care of myself for those early 2000’s, and then it finally caught up to me in 2003….the year I developed a lot of anger problems.

Lots of stories in the podcast down below.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: Invincible Mask – Continued

Lewis Howes mentioned in his book the moment he had the invincibility mask on at a farmers house with his friend.  His father and the insurance agent, who was the farmer, was looking over some papers.  So, like a good thief, Lewis and his friend went down to the basement, started looking through drawers and WA-LA! – $25 dollars in a sealed envelope.  His friend took the $20 and Lewis took the five.

Around 4am, his father confronted him in a pitch black room asking about the situation and if he had taken the money.  Lewis, like anyone else, lied to his father.

His father later found out that Lewis was lying and BOOM! Not only did Lewis get his emotional bank account overdrawn almost immediately, but terminated a friendship between his father and an insurance agent – not to mention stealing money from a man who needed to feed his family.

“After that day, I never stole anything again. Something had switched on inside me: I saw that this wasn’t the path I wanted to go down. The Stoic Mask I had been wearing since my brother went to jail was holding back a tidal wave of emotions I didn’t understand and couldn’t control, but this cheating and stealing was the first time I felt like I was actually in control of anything. The more I did it without getting caught, the more in control of my life I felt until, inevitably, I started to feel invincible. It was an incredible high, just not a positive one. And I wanted to change directions now.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Same thing happened here.  Between 1999-2000, I committed several acts of foolishness.  Can I blame it just on my father? Well, when I was living with him in Sunrise Apartments on what was the “outskirts of Vegas,” I never saw him around.  He never taught me from right from wrong.  I learned virtually everything out on the streets, and given the fact that it was such a mucky ass neighborhood, I saw gang fights – literally.  I saw a kid come up with blood all over his face after having his face smashed in by some bad ass kids at Woodbury Middle School.  There was Bret – the best fighter in our elementary school – who would constantly impose his will on just about everyone.  My brother hung out around a guy name Ozzy, who’s more than likely dead by now (given the fact he was the worst student at Woodbury).  I mean all these things put together ultimately creates a disgusting blueprint that’s unshakable.

I stole.  That’s right….I stole some candy from the store.  I got caught red-handed once and the man came in, took the candy and shoved me out of the store before I ran home and cried.  My brother asked me why I was crying and I told him.  He then ratted me out to my father, and then I was grounded for probably 4-6 weeks.  My father, however, never sat me down and told me just how dangerous it is to steal.

So, one year later and while living with my mother, I was caught in another predicament.  Disgusting neighborhood, house got ransacked by my brothers thug ass friends (as it got robbed because of his friends, too), and again, poor decision after poor decision.  As guilty as I still feel today, I stole $1 dollar from my mother underneath the bed.  I told her years later and gave her the money back, but the feeling of shame cannot become undone.  That’s the worst part about it.

I remember the last times I stopped being bad was a comment from my English teacher – Mrs. Baise – who said “looks like you’re doing bad in all of your classes.”  That moment….was the Rite of Passage.

Luckily my despicable friend by the name of Sergio had moved somewhere else and I never saw him again.  Everyone else ended up dispersing, and now my best friends were my childhood friend Billy, Filipino from Hawaii by the name of Mark (very conservative and strict family), and my best friend Andres (who’s managing a warehouse in New York today).  Your environment, family, and friends become you.  I had that invincibility mask which could’ve quickly taken me to juvenile hall (jail for minors).  I snapped out of it.

“So I turned all this energy toward sports instead of stealing. It was unquestionably a better direction, though the idea that a change of direction alone would solve the problems was a total illusion. I was still hiding behind my masks. If we’re honest with ourselves, those of us who want to achieve tend to believe we can do anything when we recognize mistakes and change direction (in business, we call that a “pivot”). In a way, that belief drives us to take risks and do bold things—but I think it’s worth pausing to appreciate how much damage it can do if you ignore the underlying problems. You can’t just ignore the things you’re doing to yourself, to your loved ones, to your body, to your mind, to your reputation, and to your sanity . . . because they will catch up with you.” – Lewis Howes

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/lewis-howes-invincible-mask-continued

 

Aggressive Mask: Part IV – What Can We Do Right Now?

“In the middle of my conversation with Ray Lewis, I asked him about his definition of a man and whether it had evolved as he got older, had kids, became successful, and ultimately retired. By way of answering my question, he told me a story about when he came to a deeper understanding of the challenges the men in his family have faced.

He was 33 years old. He’d reengaged with his long-absent father, and his father wanted him to meet a man named Shady Ray Whitehead who lived in some little trailer 6 hours outside of Charlotte, North Carolina. He had no idea where they were going or who this man was they were visiting, but when they arrived, he and his father walked in and his father said, “Meet your grandfather.”

Ray sat on the floor while his dad sat on the couch, and they talked. One of the first things out of his father’s mouth was a question to his grandfather that had also run through Ray’s head nearly every day of the first 17 years of his life: “Dad, why’d you leave me?” To say this blindsided Ray would be an understatement.

“Ray sat with this information for a while, listening to his father and grandfather, and started to think about the men in his family who struggled in their relationships. Ray’s realization is something out of a novel, or a sermon:

This is a generational curse, man. My son is 21, I’m 41, my father is 61, my grandfather’s 81. His father is 101. Five generations. Twenty years apart. What are we doing? I rode back home with my father for 6 hours while he kept talking, and I never said a word. When I got done listening to him, I said to him: “You know what a man is? A man accepts all of the wrongs, never complains, forgives, and then moves on.” That’s what a man does, because you can never replace him not being at a football game. Never replace him not being to a wrestling match, or a track meet. Beat up by a group of kids? You can never replace him not being there. You can never replace that. So what you can replace is you can replace it with moving on.”

“This is our work to do. The rewards are, indeed, waiting for us, but they will not make themselves known until we begin the process of dropping our Aggressive Mask.”

Replace it with moving on.  It’s time to top off the chapter with my own story.

My father, in 1999, dropped my brother, my sisters, and I off at a doorstep of a house before driving away.  He said, “knock on the door and ask for your mother.”  We did, and he sped off, not seeing him again for the ensuing months.  It was odd, me being only 11 years old and living in more than 5 different households over a year span.

In 2000, I saw someone walking down the street and said, “that looks like my dad!”  Minutes later, I went back home and I was right.  It was my father….and him being in the same household as my mother, went nuts.  Not necessarily on his end, but my mother bursts into anger anytime she hears the name “Willie.”  He wanted “in” our lives, and so my mother granted that if we wanted it.

I remember he was on the phone and I was suppose to go to him that weekend.  I said, “dad, do you have the video games?”  What sounded like video games weren’t, but my father was a master at lying.  After naming three videos games, the third one being my favorite, I bursted into tears of joy before going upstairs to tell my mom.  My mother eavesdropped on the conversation because you could do that by picking up the other line 18 years ago.  I told her what my father got and she said, “he didn’t get you those games. He’s lying.”

I said, “you never did anything for us.”

She cried.

I felt absolutely wretched….even more wretched because she was telling the truth.  My dad was a liar from day 1 and I never knew it until of course that day.  I remember seeing him maybe late 2000 after he came over.  After that, I never saw him again, only hearing his voice on a bus in 2007 and looking square into his eyes in another incident (on the bus) one year later.

I’m blaming him for being the amazing man I am today.

“A man who struggles with aggression needs, first and foremost, to channel his energy and anger in a constructive direction. There are a number of ways to do this at a practical level:
▸Create a wrecking room in your house where you can get it out safely. Fill it with things to smash, push, hit, and pummel. If you can’t get a room, get a pillow. Beat the hell out of it. And repeat.
▸Do cathartic shouting exercises once a week. Scream it out!
▸Take a boxing class, work out, swim, or run.
▸Create an affirmation (e.g., “I’m a peaceful, joyful, loving man”) that you say when you want to break something or get aggressive. – Lewis Howes

Podcast

 

Rhythms of Life + Power of Consistency

“I don’t want you thinking of the rhythms you can do for this week, month, or even the next ninety days; I want you to think about what you can do for the rest of your life. The Compound Effect—the positive results you want to experience in your life—will be the result of smart choices (and actions) repeated consistently over time. You win when you take the right steps day in and day out. But you set yourself up for failure by doing too much too soon.”

This is in regards to the last blog/podcast.  When you’re in marriage, you’re going to have to do things way outside the box.  Do things that you would have never done before.  Surprise him/her.  Buy those plane tickets to a utopia.  If you don’t do these things, relationships become stagnant.  The two individuals begin dying rather than growing together.

Story of Richard In The Podcast

The Power of Consistency

I looked back on my blogs from last year, and I noticed that were was a stray of days that I didn’t do a blog.  My numbers suffered; viewers disengaged; and the Big Mo was gone.  Not only that, but when you fall out of that consistency “frequency,” it’s even harder to get back in as you’ve heard in Richard’s story.

People, at the beginning of the year, hire a personal trainer to bust their ass, and they ultimately fall into that same bad habit.

Another example would be students here in Thailand.  I’ve seen students who have an insane amount of discipline, and I’ve seen others who study English for the sake of learning the language.  That’s the wrong way to do it.

For example, let’s say I had a student by the name of Note.  Note was very good at conversation and I asked him, “how did you learn conversation?” He said, “I repeated everything I heard in movies and I talk to myself in the mirror.”

About 99% of the human population wouldn’t do that because they’re scared of what “others” might think of them.

Example number 2 — Kim Kim.  Kim Kim, at the age of 15, spoke better than most Asians all across Asia.  Her accent is sound and she has very few grammatical errors while speaking.  How did she learn? Just like my companion 11-years-ago by the name of Ezra Goings did — surround yourself with the language.

“I love English.  English is life.  I breathe it. I love it so much.  I hate Thai.”

That’s what she said. She hates her own language.  She actually even speaks to children and others in the community in English, which is funny because she says “excuse me” with a stern voice.  What are the reactions? Looks of awe.

I hope you understand what point I’m trying to make here.  Through consistency, riding the Big Mo, and unrelenting determination can come some of the greatest lessons and learning experiences in life.  It’s not always about taking a massive jump and pushing down on the pump as quick as possible.  Look at rowers — you know — the people who pedal like hell in lakes while sitting in canoes.  Could you imagine if they went as fast as possible at the beginning of the race? They would die down.

Other examples could be like the “beauty pill,” which is sold here in Thailand.  Women, of all walks of life, take this pill (which is extremely dangerous) so they can lose weight.  They don’t want to put in the work in the gym…they just want to “become” slim.  Discipline is the lesson.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/rhythms-of-life-power-of-consistency

 

Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence: Friendship Woes

It’s been a very turbulent year — people (what I would call friends in the past) coming and going.  Some of this could be unbearable for most, but I built up a fortified wall in front of my feelings, telling myself that all of these so-called “friends” are here to fulfill a purpose.  Remember what I said a long time ago: life-time, life-giving, and purposeful relationships.  People are categorized into these three areas.

Best Friends Turned Enemy

I don’t believe it was so much her getting a boyfriend, but me having a life-changing experience happen on the other end just 3 weeks after.  My life went from almost investing and staying in Thailand long-term, to almost booking a trip to Honduras or Costa Rica after a racially implicit event in my workplace and was expunged from teaching at a company.  Yes, if she was my best friend Andre, we would be able to talk it out, make amends, and just move on with our friendship.  With her there was possible miscommunication, but I also saw danger — danger that could’ve bloomed if I had gone to America.  So, I cancelled the trip, and three weeks later my job was on the line.  My hands were incredulously on my head and I was being criticized by an individual who shouldn’t be criticizing anyone, given the circumstances of him being in Thailand.

Almost one month later, new condo, five job opportunities, six projects and so many other things….now I understand WHY I didn’t go to America.

Purposeful Relationship Turned Chaos

I met someone by the name of Zern who I thought had the same energy as I.  I seriously thought that she was me in a completely different form.  However, after two weeks, a nose-dive happened.  The energy between us changed and then the complaints were ON 100% (barely anything coming from my kisser).  This lead to her going out with a friend to one of the most notorious areas in all of Asia where drunk, poor backpackers go to have sex.  That was THE END. 

The Student That Couldn’t Take It

The last episode comes from an individual who I catapulted into the University of Sydney.  After completion of her Masters Degree, she came back (just recently) to Thailand.  Because I’m going through a very pivotal stage in my life, I need her to help me with translations from English-to-Thai.  Granted, I helped her with grammatical structures the past 1.5 years.  She helped me, and then I asked her for a very important favor.  Before I continue, she is a doctor.  Now, let’s get back into this…..I needed assistance taking some luggage and boxes to my new condo.

CRICKETS

After that message, she was gone!

Moral of these stories…..you’re the only person who can be rescue 911.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/circle-of-concern-vs-circle-of-influence

Lewis Howes: The Athlete Mask

It was March 17th, 1990.  Meldrick Taylor, a prominent superstar welterweight vs. the furious Julio Caesar Chavez.

For at least 8 of the rounds, Meldrick Taylor was putting on a boxing clinic against the heavily favored Chavez.  However, in the latter rounds, Chavez blows started to take a toll, startling Meldrick Taylor with about 1:15 to go in the 12th round.  After a knockdown with 15 seconds left in the fight – followed by a controversial stoppage of the fight — Chavez won, but who really won the war at “life?”

Following the fight, Meldrick Taylor urinated blood – resulting in Kidney damage.  The fight was one for the ages and Taylor really never bounced-back and became the champion he once declared to the universe a year or so prior.  Instead, 10 years later, you can hardly understand a word he says.  He has a severe speech impediment, just like Tommy Hearns who went to war with the Marvelous Marvin Hagler in the 80’s.

Another notable trilogy was the Bowe vs. Holyfield – two massive beasts punching each other to near death over the course of 36 rounds and I can hardly understand a word they say, too.

What’s the paradox? Boxing fans around the world cheer on two men beating each other to death like it’s ancient Rome.

However, this is what it feels like to be a “man,” right? If you look at my picture, men aren’t suppose to show signs of defeat because then that makes you a “coward” in the world of sports.  To be a man, according to bodybuilders, is all about how much you can deadlift or bench.  If you can’t do either, you’re a ***sy.

Welcome to the Athlete Mask.

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