Helping a suicidal student

I wrote this on my 101 goals list about 5 years ago: “help someone NOT commit suicide and get them out of a dark place.” I don’t know why it felt good at the time, but the opportunity had presented itself.

Years ago I met a student who was on fire. She was insecure at the age of 15, but with her level of speaking capabilities, I told her she couldn’t stay here in Thailand because ALL universities don’t know what to do with her level passion. She ended up moving to Singapore to go to school and ended up building an online business at the age of 17. The last time I had seen her in 2018, she was so excited and driven. She carried herself like a 30-year-old business professional.

Well, we lost touch and finally spoke again through video a couple weeks ago — to my shock, she completely changed: tone, facial expressions, discontent, and now suffering from severe depression. She went from Singapore back to Bangkok and now she’s around people who AREN’T driven.

While she was telling me these horrifying thoughts she was having, I was glancing to my left and thought of one person that could absolutely help her….and so the introduction was given and now the ball is on her side of the course — but I’m asking everyone out there that you should NEVER be AFRAID to ASK for help.

Full podcast down below!

Ramble of Positivity: Episode 19 – The Emergence of ??????

Man, oh man! It’s been a long time since I’ve done a ramble of positivity, and I’m super grateful to be back! Two weeks into the New Years….it’s definitely at a surplus in terms of projects, teaching and learning.  However, there is a little bit of an issue.

Now, I told myself I needed to live in these day-tight compartments because I have no idea what’s going on in the future.  Honestly, within the next three months, there’s a massive chance that I might experience a major transition (leaving from Thailand).

At the beginning of the New Year, I thought I was destined to land a job with a 65-year-old language school in Bangkok.  The interview process was superb and everything went well.  However, after a follow-up email and a week later, I got scared.  I felt that something was happening, but wasn’t sure what.  That feeling lead to me not getting the job for VERY OBVIOUS THAI REASONS and then there was the question: “should I keep doing this?”

I’ve preached so much about going after your purpose.  I’m getting ideas now about developing a curriculum online that students can easily access and learn English all over the world – a system that can trump language centers in a heartbeat.  This is going to take some massive pondering and setting up, but I’m pretty excited about it.

There comes a time in life, however, when you just get sick and tired of nonsense.  I’ve dealt with racial degradation for five years already.  In the beginning, it was new.  I needed to go through the amount of hell for me to become the influential person I am today.  On the other hand, the things that I continue going through today is just — boring.  I already got the point.  Yes, I’m a brown guy living in one of the most anti-brown guy countries on the face of planet Earth….which brings me to the questions….

Am I still learning?

  • Hell no.

Am I still growing?

  • In terms of my podcast, YouTube, Herbalife, speaking, etc….absolutely.  As a teacher in my primary job – absolutely not.

Are there still opportunities?

  • The only way I stay in Thailand is if I work at a multi-national country and make over 100,000 baht (3,300 USD). Other than that, side-projects are great, but they don’t provide anymore than just that – a side project.

Do I still want to live here?

  • Well, lets just say in a perfect world everything goes well and I can work in Bangkok….my max is one year — this year.  After that, I’m finished.  Unless something miraculous happens, I’m over Asia.

Is this a place to live for the next ten years?

  • I don’t know what opportunity Thailand provides anymore because of the amount of obstacles I have to go through.  The proving grounds and continuous (can you send us a video of how you teach) versus other teachers getting the job because of the color of their skin — it’s just pointless.  I don’t have to prove myself anymore.  With Facebook pages in the education and podcast sector totalling over 10,000 likes and constant content creation: “you said I needed to make a video because?”

What’s the end goal?

  • True happiness.  True fulfillment.  That’s why I do my ‘wheels of life’ on a monthly basis.  However, if there’s one area that’s causing 80% of my unhappiness, it’s the constant “needing a job” and trying to figure out the process.  My end goal is to obvious have my website up and running, posting videos on Facebook regularly, creating blogs, putting out content, doing things with other students and creating videos on a multitude of platforms.  On top of that, I still absolutely love teaching, but other than the money, what’s the point of staying here anymore?  I need to be smart about the process and see what situation I’ll possibly be heading into.  If I can make residual income on a monthly basis, Thailand would be finished.  Let’s just put it that way.

I’m so happy and grateful for being able to teach wonderful students a language and an idea with that language over the last three days.

I’m truly grateful for the present I got from a Deputy Prime Minister last night – and also knowledge along with that.

With all my heart, Im thankful for all areas of my life.  I’m extremely thankful for the wonderful people I’ve met the past few days and the dozens of new friends I’ve made.  I’m grateful for the posters on my FB pages who want more.  I’m thankful for my friends who tune into my blog, along with other bloggers; and I’m also super happy about my podcast and everyone viewing my videos on YouTube.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Now, I just added in the emergence….and you will be amazed who this person is.  17 years…..and he decided to add me on FB.  Oh, what a story this is going to be!  Only in the podcast!

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/the-ramble-of-positivity-episode-19-the-

 

How To Criticize – And Not Be Hated For It + Talking About Your Own Mistakes First

“Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word “but” and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child’s careless attitude toward studies, we might say, “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.” – Dale Carnegie

As a teacher, I try not focusing on the problem at hand. EVER. Instead, I try using this technique.  It’s kind of like this, if my student wrote a wonderful essay (but made a few grammatical mistakes), I will give as much praise as possible then correct the mistake in front of them without saying anything – simply stating it after and they’ll realize it without hearing me actually critique them.  It’s somewhere in the realm of “echoing.”  If my student uses grammar incorrectly, I say it the correct way for them to hear it and repeat it…and this works 90% of the time.

I see a lot of teachers stop the conversation to correct the student; resulting in a loss of confidence, which ultimately makes them afraid to speak English.

“My niece, Josephine Carnegie, had come to New York to be my secretary. She was nineteen, had graduated from high school three years previously, and her business experience was a trifle more than zero. She became one of the most proficient secretaries west of Suez, but in the beginning, she was—well, susceptible to improvement. One day when I started to criticize her, I said to myself: “Just a minute, Dale Carnegie; just a minute. You are twice as old as Josephine. You have had ten thousand times as much business experience. How can you possibly expect her to have your viewpoint, your judgment, your initiative—mediocre though they may be? And just a minute, Dale, what were you doing at nineteen? Remember the asinine mistakes and blunders you made? Remember the time you did this… and that…” – Dale Carnegie

Does this paragraph relate to anyone? Are we perfect ALL the time? Are we even perfect half the time? Before you start judging anyone who is younger than you, imagine you being the same age and doing the same things they’re doing.  These are the growing pains and learning years of adolescence.  Don’t be too critical.

I also had a situation yesterday where I confronted the staff at my condo, telling them that my water bill was too high.  However, just two months ago, my toilet was constantly running and I didn’t think for ONE MINUTE…that I should report it.  Because I didn’t report it, I had a 800% increase on my water bill and 400% increase the month before.  Admitting your mistakes gives you a sense of peace, but don’t be too critical on yourself…as I was yesterday.  These things happen.  Don’t start calling yourself names because of not reacting the way you would have wanted to.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/how-to-criticize-and-not-be-hated-for-it

The Ramble: Traveling Next Year, Podcast, GaryVee, My Own Medicine, Q’s & A’s.

I decided to create a podcast on what’s happening in the life of Arsenio Buck in Bangkok, Thailand.  Here’s a rundown of today’s topics in short and what’s been happening since my “Wheel of Life” podcast.

Traveling

I pre-booked some spots in my schedule for next years traveling because, of course, I need to have traveling + Spartan competitions, and traveling just for the sake of seeing wonderful countries.

Kazakhstan/Kyrgyzstan are both an 80% go at this point, unless withdrawals happen because my lack of depositing into a developing relationship.  Honestly, some of you are probably thinking now, “omg! Those countries? Why?” Well, I’ve always wanted to travel to Central Asia because I believe like Georgia and Azerbaijan, its the best kept secret.  I’ve seen how open-minded just about everyone is there just being online and how friendly they are and willing to meet.  My heart is telling me to go there; and on top of that, I have a brilliant friend who’s urging me to visit.  So, expect a April landfall, podcasts, and crazy blogs + videos coming up during that time.

Cairo, Egypt….yes, yes, YES! I went on a day trip when I was in the Maldives to one of the islands in proximity to Hulhumale, and on that boat trip on over…I locked eyes with a specimen.  A gorgeous specimen, but she gave me an unresponsive stare.  However, when we got to the island, she unwittingly grabbed my empty glass and placed it on a plate that the concierge was collecting.  I said, “omg, thank you!” It was the sweetest gesture ever.  10 minutes later – her, myself, and her friend were chatting it up, under the sun, in the most gorgeous, turquoise waters ever.  She’s a soon-to-be dentist and he’s a soon-to-be engineer.  They said Egypt, especially Cairo, is AMAZING! And that I should visit.  They also told me that September was the perfect month to visit, too.  Therefore, September is when I will set air (not set sail) to Cairo!

With those two massive trips looming in the New Year, I still need to fit in America, and my short Spartan holidays (Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong and possibly Melbourne, Australia if my friend becomes a friend again between now and February).  It’s an action packed year approaching!

GaryVee Podcast

Boy! I listened for probably 30 minutes last night and about 30 minutes this morning.  The keys and things he said in the podcasts I listened to relate so much to my podcast in general.  For instance, there was a girl talking about, “I’m not thinking so much of the present right now because our business is losing money…I’m thinking more of the future.”  This struck me because just a few days ago I was pretty down on my podcast plays before I made a podcast + blog about not giving up.  Within 24 hours, I got the best back-to-back day in my podcast history in terms of plays with countries such as China, Mauritius, Hungary, Uganda and others coming on strong.  The thing is you’re going to encounter a lot of setbacks, but those setbacks are needed for the process called “growth.” Never forget that.

Two Days Ago & Dealing With Ignorance

Wednesday was a head scratching day.  It first started with going into a 7-11.  There was a man standing just a few steps back behind the counter.  I, unknowingly, stepped in.  After that, this same man took four giant steps back into the middle of the aisle, standing there with a blank look on his face.  What my historical self would’ve said would be something around the lines of, “oh, you’re acting like an asshole. I didn’t know you were in line.  Come up here? You don’t want to go?”  However, I invited him to come before me and he still had a blank look on his face.  I won’t fight with ignorance, so I decided to just pay and go.  I win, he loses.  Done.

However, later on that evening I had some students laugh and make fun of the Vegas massacre.  Ignorance like that cannot be tolerated, and it often happens here in Thailand, unfortunately.  The lack of sympathy, empathy, compassion and heart runs real deep within 90% of the beings here.  I erupted and some of the other teachers in nearby classrooms heard the commotion.  I said, “do you think that’s funny? 59 people dying is funny to you?” One shrugged her shoulders and I went on a rant, threw some paper at them and that will be the last time ever facing those individuals again.  Now, of course I’ve been reading so much on dealing with people, but that’s a whole different level of ignorance that can only be handled by fury.

Inhale……..exhale.  Everything is perfectly fine.  I feel that the situation last night had to occur for a reason.  My guess is something, or someone, is trying to emerge in that time-frame.  It took a comment from a few individuals for me to say, “find someone else to deal with your ignorance.”  These things happen, people.  Despite my reaction and them, words and pettiness comes and goes a dime a dozen with no value whatsoever.  State what you have to say, and when you say it…know the ramifications of what might happen.  Nevertheless, I’m grateful for having yet another opportunity to teach and speak in this country filled with opportunities.  See, you can change your state-of-mind pretty quick, if you want to.

 

Free writing & Free Speaking Topics: Part II (For ESL Students) *Downloadable PDF*

Freewriting & Freespeaking – Part II

The downloadable link above is another array of miscellaneous topics to get your mind flowing with things you’ve probably never thought of.

I’ve written on the last blog that this is especially crucial for countries which don’t ask these type of questions.  Lots of students around the world have problems with conversing and even writing because no one in their lives have ever asked them questions such as the ones on the PDF.

Well, now that I know how to put documents onto my wordpress blogs, it’s time to start getting better in your writing and speaking – even if it’s not in preparation for systematic tests.

Jack Canfield – Speak With Impeccability

“Impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom, to huge success and abundance; it can take away all fear and transform it into joy and love.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

Our thoughts, opinions, judgements, and beliefs roll off our tongues without a care for the damage or the benefits they can produce.

Successful people like Les Brown, Lisa Nichols, on the other hand, are masters of their words.  They’re conscious of the thoughts they think and the worlds they speak.

Your words have power not only within yourself, but also with others.  You can literally uplift humanity such as what Mother Theresa and Muhammad Ali have done.

Jack Canfield – “Success people speak words of inclusion rather than words of separation, words of acceptance rather than words of rejection, and words of tolerance rather than words of prejudice.

One of my best students here in Thailand and I walk around the massive shopping center (one of many) here in Bangkok.  She actually looks at people compared to me and she always says, “why are those people looking at us weird?” She often gets frustrated at society because she has yet to establish that ‘circle of concern’ and ‘circle of influence.’

I, on the other hand, completely ignore it and have turned myself into a beholder of proactive language.  I NEVER complain about how people look at me anymore because that’s nothing I have control over.  Instead, I laugh and shrug it off and it creates that ripple effect.

The truth is, your words put out a certain energy or message that creates a reaction in others – a reaction that is usually returned to you multiple.  If I had complained about that particular individual, the next soul that we would’ve come across would do the same thing – but worse.  That’s the law of cause and effect in it’s works.

If you are rude, impatient, arrogant, or hostile, you can expect negative conduct to be returned to you. Period.

Idle Gossip

Jack Canfield talked about a day that he was teaching at a particular high school long ago.  He said on the first day of school, he walked into a teachers’ lounge before school starter.  One of the older teachers approached me and said, “I see you have Devon James in your american history class.  I had him last year.  He’s a real terror.  Good luck!”

That’s called the definition of prejudice.

Here are some practical ways to stop yourself and discourage others from gossiping:

  1.  Change the subject.
  2. Say something positive about the other person.
  3. Walk away from the conversation.
  4. Keep quiet.
  5. Clearly state that you no longer want to participate in gossiping about others.

If you want to hear me speak about this principle, the link to my podcast is down below.

 

Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/9358358