Season 1: Episode 4 – Book Review – Material & Sexual Mask

Let me first ask you some questions.

  • Are you driven to a country because of sexual activities?
  • Do you want to buy a car because of your insecurities?
  • Does having a big house mean more to you than making a difference?

Those are the most basic questions in terms of these masks.  From the sex tourists that have made Thailand the number 1 tourist destination on the planet as of 2017 (ok, not all are, but a significant portion of that 20 million came here to engage in sexual interaction), to the high society who lavish themselves in luxuries to cover-up what’s really wrong underneath their skin.

Welcome to the two most vicious masks of society (as most of them are).

Ok, maybe the material mask relates to women more than men, but if you put the #entrepreneurship hashtag in on Instagram, you will see a lot of men wearing super expensive suits (rented), wearing fancy watches (also rented) while standing in front of planes (jumping over fences to get to them) or standing in front of cars (without the license plate pictured).  Yes, I’m calling out the Laguna boys who seemingly lost all perspective in terms of living.

Shows such as Jersey Shore made it much worse when it was all about body-building, money and the latest trends.  This goes for both men and women.

Lewis Howes, at the time of writing the book, was sitting in a massive mansion in Beverly Hills.  This mansion was owned by one of the most polarizing characters (and still is) by the name of Tai Lopez.  Yes, the man who spouted “KNAWLEDDDGEEE” all over the net, preaching to people about the “good” life on a Ted Talk stage, and someone who would constantly show his materials.  He also went on to say, “these materials don’t mean anything,” but it’s a selling point for you to get those weak-minded individuals into buying your courses?

Anywho, this is a man who’s hampered by the media-crazy materialistic America.

“The irony is, for so many people, all that materialism invalidates the quality of a person’s ideas. There’s nothing Tai can do to get those people to hear him, which just drives him further behind the Material Mask. It’s like someone trying to convince you that they care about you by screaming, “I love you!” louder and louder right in your face at the top of their lungs with the veins bulging out of their neck. You don’t hear the words; you only see the vulgar display.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

What’s available if you drop the mask?

Fulfillment
Worthiness
Inner peace
Attracting people who are interested in who you are, not how much you have
Feeling enough
Satisfaction with your achievements
Gratitude

 

Sexual Mask

I worked at a job in Pathumthani, Thailand who had about 13 anglo teachers (the emphasis is coming), all of which who escaped a terrible divorce, got shunned by their own children (who no longer speak to them) and ended up seeking refuge by marrying a poor woman from a village.  This is the story of the over 45s here in Thailand.

Ok, those are wife-tourists.

Let’s put some focus on the sex monsters.

 

Lewis Howes: Material Mask: Part IV – What Can You Do Now?

When Lewis Howes sat down with Tony Robbins on a few instance, I still remember the story Tony told.  I know this story from the back of my mind, and shockingly enough, Sir John Templeton (who I gave a bad rap on his Tedx for because his on-stage presence and attire – lol!) told him about the essence of giving.

What’s that story?

“I said, ‘Hi,’ I think he said his name was Ronny, and I said, ‘Ronny, you’re a class act. I saw you open the door for your lady, I saw you hold out the chair for your lady.’ He goes, ‘She’s my mom.’ I said, ‘That’s even more classy.’”

Tony commended him for taking his mom out to lunch. The kid looked at him with a serious face the way young kids do who haven’t learned how to joke around yet, and he said, “I’m not really taking her to lunch. I’m just 11 and I don’t have a job.”
Without even thinking about it, Tony gave the kid all the money in his pocket—basically all he had left in the world—so he could take his mother out to lunch. Then he walked out of the restaurant and went on with his life.

Think about that: Tony had no money, no way to pay his rent, and he was going to have to consider going hungry for his next several meals. Yet he was euphoric. He told me he basically flew home, he felt so proud of himself.

The next day, he checked his mail and found a letter from a guy he’d been hounding about a business transaction for months, who hadn’t returned his calls. In the letter was a check for $1,000 plus interest, and an apology.

Tony began to cry. How could something like that happen? Were the two events related? He told me he decided that they were:

I don’t know if it’s true, but I decided that day that this happened because I did the right thing. Because I didn’t have a plan, it wasn’t a strategy, I always felt this little soul beside me, I knew what was right, and I did it. I didn’t do it because I thought I could or I couldn’t, I didn’t even think about it, and that’s the day I became a wealthy man, because I still didn’t have any money, but scarcity left my body. I’ve had plenty of ups and downs since that time, but I never went back to that fearful mindset of, “Oh my God, how’s it going to happen?” – Tony Robbins

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Lewis Howes went on to say that what Tony was describing at that present time was the Material Mask being ripped off.  It was no longer about him, his indecision, scarcity and being broke on so many levels because of wanting the luxury of things.

When Lewis Howes did the interview in Tony’s private jet, Tony didn’t talk so much about the figures, but more about what his accomplishments and especially feeding people all over the planet.  There was a time that a neighbor gave his family a full thanksgiving dinner – which was too much to bear for his father, whom later walked out on Tony and his mother.  Can you imagine that? Since then, Tony went on a venture to feed as many people around the planet as he can.

Do you hear about those humanitarian rewards with Tai?

What Can You Do Right Now?

“What we need to realize is that we are valuable, regardless of what we have. We need to recognize that, while living behind the Material Mask, there will never be such a thing as “enough” when it comes to a sufficient sense of self-worth as a man.” – Lewis Howes

Here is what you can do to practice gratitude on a daily basis. I do many of these myself, and you can start them right now:

1.When you wake up, take out your journal and write down three things for which you’re grateful.

2.Before you go to sleep, ask the last person you talk to three things they are most grateful for from the day, and in reply tell them what you are grateful for from the day too.

3.My voicemail message asks people to share what they are most grateful for when they leave a message. Feel free to copy the idea.

4.Start meetings with your team or business partners with a moment that allows everyone to share what they are grateful for.

5.Acknowledge people daily with a few words that express what you’re grateful for about them.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/lewis-howes-material-mask-part-iv-what-c

Lewis Howes: Material Mask – Part III

“Whatever success you’re after, keep in mind that someone has already had it, hated it, and deluded themselves into thinking that just a little more would solve their problems.” – Ryan Holiday

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

It makes you think a lot about materialistic things in general, doesn’t it? I’m completely fine making a solid 3k-5k a month.  All I really care about is traveling, making a difference, and once I start making over that amount, I’ll develop a non-profit organization and build schools in impoverished countries.  That’s my life assignment.

Some people’s life assignment revolves around getting a Bugati.  Look at Christian Guzman, for instance.  Back around August of 2016 before my breakthrough, I would watch his videos to try to get a burst of inspiration.  Instead, it was about houses, money, and cars.  A lot of followers, again in the comment section, would hurl rhetoric at him in terms of lavishing himself in luxury.  The point I’m trying to make is during the video, I felt his energy.  And in saying that, his energy was so off.  He had such a feeling of discontent with the entire process.  He did not seem happy whatsoever.  Same thing goes with another YouTuber (fitness) named Chris Jones.  I feel that he’s another person who doesn’t seemed entirely fulfilled, although he has a gorgeous house, significant other, and car.  This is what scares me.

“I think one of the big reasons why men, specifically, chase money and fame is because they were turned away earlier from those feelings of acceptance and attachment, and they found some security in this myth that being rich, that having Tai’s house, will finally make them feel like men.” – Lewis Howes

Luckily, I’ve never been one of those men.  However, I feel like a particular clothing store, which I would get my clothes tailored from, was pushing me to the bring of having a Material Mask.  It being an Indian based store in BKK, they’re very pushy.  They would constantly push me to buy and invest more after picking up some.  Thankfully, the last time I went there (back in April), the manager ripped me off completely and told me to pick up 300$ worth of clothing (which would be only one suit and a pair of slacks – compared to five shirts, three slacks and a blazer just a year before) by the following week.  I left and said, “is this it? Is the trust broken?” And if I had gone back to pick up everything, I think not only would I have lost all my dignity, but the mask would be officially on.  I messaged another employee expressing discontent; and later on that evening, I went on to block all numbers and never went back since.

Did I need an extra 3-7 suits? Hell no.  I have about 5-7 suits already; plus a couple of blazers, vests, and an assortment of ties and slacks.  However, people will push you to do things you don’t want to do. If you’re not accepting, they become more adamant.

Don’t get me wrong, wearing perfectly tailored clothes gives me such a “swag” that no one else in Bangkok has.  However, it doesn’t give me true fulfillment, and that’s what Teacher Edward told me just a couple years prior.

“Listen, you can have all the clothes you want, Arsenio.  If you don’t know what you’re going to say, all of that won’t mean a damn thing.”

And the last Tai Lopez story is….

“There’s two ways you can consume, as a person making money,” he said to me. “There’s conspicuous consumption and inconspicuous. And conspicuous is what makes you unhappy. So I don’t have any nice watches, okay? And some of my friends are like, ‘You should have a Rolex because if you are successful, you need to show that.’ Well, I don’t really care about watches, never did. So if I bought a watch for myself, it would be what’s called conspicuous, me trying to show off.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Wait, but kicking off a video with you getting out of a Lambo or standing in front of a mansion isn’t showing off?

Look, we’re going to do different things with out money.  Entrepreneurs like Gary Vee says reinvest, which is the smartest thing to do.  Other people go to high-end stores and saturate themselves with high quality “materialistic” things.  Other people travel.  However, if you think that’s going to let you into the “cool group” you’re sadly mistaken.

Does anyone know the movie called “richie rich?” Ahhh, as a child, this movie was amazing.  A little boy who was unbelievably rich tried to fit in with the neighborhood kids by playing baseball. They shoved him away constantly because he wasn’t “them.”  Money is not a code, it’s an enabler.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: Material Mask – Part II: Does Money Kill?

After accumulating so many riches over the course of years, Lewis Howes is still one of those people who drive a 1991 Cadillac. He went on to say that Tai Lopez’ viewpoint on buying luxury cars was interesting to him.  Heck, I believe anyone who buys cars over 100k$ USD is doing it to cover up what they’re lacking, if I haven’t said that already.

“Tai described the dangers of money quite well. He said, “I think that if you’re not careful, money is like a pit bull. A pit bull can save your life or it can turn around and kill you.”

If I can recall a story which Tony Robbins spoke about in his book about the richest man in Germany, Adolf Merkel.  This man was a billionaire back in his day, and after suffering a huge gamble and losing about 25% of his networth, he was absolutely finished with life.  His identity was so attached to money to the point he felt powerless, and in the ensuing days he threw himself off the building, ultimately committing suicide.

Anyone who believes money can kill them is right – based on face-value.  However, if you’re one of those people who look at money from an “enabling” standpoint, you’ll never think money “has you.”  Look at me.  Sure, I’ll be moving across town to a gorgeous condo and kick off 2018 with the most successfully sound bank account I’ve ever possessed.  But does that define who I am? Hell no.  Quite frankly, I can really give a damn about how much I make all year next year.  What I wanted most from one particular place was respect; then I was delivered racism and threats…so I got up and left because I knew there were six projects aching for my services.  Am I doing to purely because the money? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It’s the handshake after another.  Having speaking engagements in possibly Morocco and even in Bangkok (Tedx) is what I do it for.  Will I buy an Audi to look cool and contribute to the traffic congested roads in Thailand? Ludicrous!

“I suppose that’s why a lot of guys either love or hate Tai Lopez. Some see him as a hero. They want to drive nice cars. They want to be surrounded by models in their enormous mansions. They want to be able to hang out with celebrities who come over to their house. They want to be—or appear to be—the opposite of the invisible, ashamed, anonymous person they might feel themselves to be. Other guys see him as a fraud or a liar. They are convinced he’s making it all up and that he doesn’t actually have any money. They obsessively produce videos that question whether Tai rents his exotic cars or if his house is really his. If I had to guess why those doubters are so obsessed, it’s because, if Tai’s story is true, then deep down, they don’t think they would be able to do the same things Tai has done. And that kind of self-doubt, especially to a man raised in our current culture, is too crippling not to project outward onto others.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

There are a number of videos, Twitter accounts, and Facebook accounts depicting Tai Lopez.  Tom Bilyeu had him on Impact Theory recently, and the majority of his fans swarmed with positive comments.  On the other hand, those same people who feel that Tai is better than them began spewing rhetoric at everyone and everything about Tai.  Personally, I have no idea who Tai’s followers are, but regardless of what aisle people may be on, you do have to realize that Tai has that version of a material mask on.

I love how Lewis Howes put it.  He said, “listen to Tai is to watch his YouTube videos. And to listen to his insight is to watch him dispense it from the captain’s chair of a private jet surrounded by models in bandage dresses. Or from backstage at a concert. Or poolside at a private villa. Or in his giant Beverly Hills mansion. This extra bit of detail is like theater or a costume, and without it, it’s almost like he thinks his ideas will have less value. Or worse, they won’t matter.”

Like Lewis Howes said, all that materialism invalidates the quality of a person’s idea.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: The Material Mask & Tai Lopez Excerpt

YIKES! I mean, I can write probably a book on what Americans deem to be happiness – just go to Beverly Hills and see yourself! Yes, I took shot at Beverly Hills, although I stay there with an ex-boss of mine and his wife for a day this past April.  The Material Mask – the most highly sought after mask on the face of the planet.

From Instagrammer influencers posing with six-figure cars, to people flaunting their riches on yachts.  I find it very laughable because deep down inside those individuals are insecurities far beyond what “normal” people have.

For example, the YouTube guru who took the world by storm over a two-year period, Tai Lopez, is deemed as a “scam” artist.  Some people say that he packaged his own course from Jack Canfield’s ‘Success Principles.”  Others dissected his videos to the molecular level when they realized that some of the people he would be in the video with, at the time, weren’t even listening to him.  Collection of books in the garage; house “rented” out, women wearing 2-piece bikinis and so much more.  Nonetheless, this man amassed a fortune behind a very ambiguous past and everyone to this date is still unaware of his age.

Get this, regardless of what you might or might not like about him, he was one of those people who didn’t have that type of money when he was younger.  So, when he got the money, he lavished himself in it and had to show everyone.  His Tedx, called the ‘Good Life,’ was a bit laughed, in my opinion.  This coming from a public speaker – but this human being by the name of Tai Lopez has still been able to make millions of dollars.  Dollars that he must show to the rest of the world to make them feel inferior.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/lewis-howes-material-mask-tai-lopez-intr