DAMN! Like, forreal? I need to take off my professional hat and go six-shooter on this one. If you come to me, asking for my help, sit on a video call with me for an hour while I try to come up with a master-plan so you can stay your ass in another country or be pushed into quarantine facilities in Thailand — only for you to be so irresponsible, stay out late, and never contact me again? Oh, I’ve had enough of this…I’ve had enough of timey people. Another podcast will debut later on tonight.
I went to my mother’s Facebook page to check on her health and well-being recently. After the 2013 fallout, my mother and I haven’t spoken on video or by voice in half-a-decade. Regrets? Absolutely not. It takes two to tango. However, the health of my mother is always important.
Her first post was of my brother — an individual who has hated me since I was a child. Hot-headed, angry, know-it-all/alpha mask possessing individual who’s following similar footsteps of his father. He was featured on Fox5News in Las Vegas. Being an avid drummer and always have been for years, music has always been in his heart. Having taught at high schools, middle schools, and elementary schools, apparently he had auditioned for the Las Vegas Golden Knights hockey team — and got the job. During one of the openings of last year’s playoff game against I-HAVE-NO-IDEA, I saw someone wearing glowing, neon glasses while drumming who had a beard similar to what my brother normally flaunts. Indeed, it was my brother. I was super proud of him.
Two years ago, he had sent me a message, berating me with derogatory slurs and yelling, “don’t come back to Vegas! Mom doesn’t wanna see you! Your sisters hate you!”
I laughed and felt sorry for him. Since those 1995, Mega Man X days where he would beat me up on the SNES and tell my parents that I did wrong, he still has an impenetrable amount of hostility that’s tormenting him inside.
During the recent interview in the link above, I can still see it in his eyes. Hearing him speak with the freakish looking smile and saying, “it’s about being positive,” or somewhere on the lines, is what I would always see before he unleashed an unfathomable amount of hell upon me and spew rhetoric at my siblings. He was a power junkie and always has been — very different from what my father used to be, to be honest.
Nonetheless, I told my siblings, and the last time I spoke with them back in the summer of 2016, that I would never speak to Steven Buck again for as long as I live. It was time to finally move on. Wish him the best in his future endeavors, but enough was enough. Gary Vee says drop your loser friends and family members, and my brother, who was the antagonist of every story, has never been supportive.
But please don’t let this confuse any of you. Holding a grudge against anyone is ridiculous, and this is why I forgave him from within and sent the rest to the universe. He doesn’t need to know that I forgave him, nor would he care, but it’s for my own peace of mind.
You know, going through the battles I’ve gone through, especially living in Thailand, it’s perspective.
Do you know how lonely I felt being in a household where everyone hated me? I was the “selfish” one for not saving money. I was the bad son for not giving my mom 25% of my salary while living overseas by myself. Going through that dimension of it, and then battling the racial discrimination in these borders? 150 jobs denied me because I was BLACK.
Could you imagine not having anyone to go to in terms of that?
You can’t. The brute force and nature of it all id unprecedented. But how did I go through it? Was it the motive? The purpose, as Napoleon Hill has said before? How did I flip it from a push to a pull? How did I go from a negative mindset to a positive mindset? How did I go from getting by at the beginning of this year, to becoming financially independent by next year? I’m still trying to piece it together.
One thing is apparent, however, and it’s the fact that I have an indomitable will.
Let me first ask you some questions.
- Are you driven to a country because of sexual activities?
- Do you want to buy a car because of your insecurities?
- Does having a big house mean more to you than making a difference?
Those are the most basic questions in terms of these masks. From the sex tourists that have made Thailand the number 1 tourist destination on the planet as of 2017 (ok, not all are, but a significant portion of that 20 million came here to engage in sexual interaction), to the high society who lavish themselves in luxuries to cover-up what’s really wrong underneath their skin.
Welcome to the two most vicious masks of society (as most of them are).
Ok, maybe the material mask relates to women more than men, but if you put the #entrepreneurship hashtag in on Instagram, you will see a lot of men wearing super expensive suits (rented), wearing fancy watches (also rented) while standing in front of planes (jumping over fences to get to them) or standing in front of cars (without the license plate pictured). Yes, I’m calling out the Laguna boys who seemingly lost all perspective in terms of living.
Shows such as Jersey Shore made it much worse when it was all about body-building, money and the latest trends. This goes for both men and women.
Lewis Howes, at the time of writing the book, was sitting in a massive mansion in Beverly Hills. This mansion was owned by one of the most polarizing characters (and still is) by the name of Tai Lopez. Yes, the man who spouted “KNAWLEDDDGEEE” all over the net, preaching to people about the “good” life on a Ted Talk stage, and someone who would constantly show his materials. He also went on to say, “these materials don’t mean anything,” but it’s a selling point for you to get those weak-minded individuals into buying your courses?
Anywho, this is a man who’s hampered by the media-crazy materialistic America.
“The irony is, for so many people, all that materialism invalidates the quality of a person’s ideas. There’s nothing Tai can do to get those people to hear him, which just drives him further behind the Material Mask. It’s like someone trying to convince you that they care about you by screaming, “I love you!” louder and louder right in your face at the top of their lungs with the veins bulging out of their neck. You don’t hear the words; you only see the vulgar display.”
Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.
What’s available if you drop the mask?
Attracting people who are interested in who you are, not how much you have
Satisfaction with your achievements
I worked at a job in Pathumthani, Thailand who had about 13 anglo teachers (the emphasis is coming), all of which who escaped a terrible divorce, got shunned by their own children (who no longer speak to them) and ended up seeking refuge by marrying a poor woman from a village. This is the story of the over 45s here in Thailand.
Ok, those are wife-tourists.
Let’s put some focus on the sex monsters.
Here’s the follow up of what I mentioned in the Ramble of Positivity blog.
Situation 1: Check-In Desk Ignorance
This girl was all smiles and started asking questions to the girl sitting on her side. I heard her mention months June and July. She was checking the validity of my passport, which has 11 months left (renewing in October), but it’s the simple fact that maybe she was just being newbie (which is completely fine), or maybe she was told to check “blacks” passport rigorously. This happens to all colored people around the world, and it won’t stop until medias stop the ignorant berating of black people on their news outlets.
Ok, a rant. Got it. Check. Speaking from the heart here.
After everything was done, she asked, of COURSE, if I was checking in a bag. After all the supposed fuss, there was nothing left to be done and she smiled while giving me my ticket.
Yawn. Typical Thainess. Label the black man as the “Nigerian scammer.”
Situation 2: Ignorant Immigration
Yeah, let it be said. I have no reason to not call out the racial discrimination that WOMEN dish on black people. Remember, I was standing in line behind an African just last year and the immigration lady labeled the living hell out of her and took her into an office. I stood right before her and was hoping she said something to me — didn’t.
Anywho, I go to the window (after telling other people that they’re idiots while standing in line). Guy before me goes in about 15 seconds, I had to wait three minutes.
She looked at the main face of my passport, browsed through my pages, scanned my page — and then she put on her glasses. I laughed, shook my head and said “calm down, Arsenio, they’re just time-wasters and seeing if you’re a drug dealer.” After two more minutes of purely nothing and her looking to get a commission, she was FORCED to stamp my passport. I slammed my hand on the table where my passport was and scampered away.
After all that fuss and wasting my time, looking to see if my passport was real (which reallllyyyyy pissed me off because I’m American and I have an insane amount of rights in this country), she couldn’t do a god damn thing.
Yes, No More Women Immigration Officers!
Today marked the last day that I will ever go to a female immigration officer. From 2013’s most racist woman at the southern border of Thailand, to what happens with women on a routine basis…..it’s completely sickening. Let me give you an example. Last time I left to Laos, the male officer cracked a joke saying, “last day.” Ughhhh, yeah! Last day of my visa! Sorry, no 33 USD for you, buddy. I winked and left.
Coming back in there was a young guy and he was cooler than ever. I’ve actually had the nicest immigration officer EVER at that same southern border.
I know how to avoid ignorance now. Big check.
But what can be learned from this? You, the reader, what can you take away from this?
Just because one ignorant mindset, opinion, or adjective gets you ticked off DOESN’T mean the end of the world. In relations to that, if you get mad, they win. If you let an ignorant mindset win you over, you no longer have control and you make your decisions based on fight-or-flight. Your blood pressure would start to climb and your nervousness would boil over into an explosion. Not what you want to do.
Looking back at the situation, I can see how it all happened.
- Malaysians with thousands of luggages before me makes me irritated.
- Malaysian, who was clogging up the counter, didn’t move her luggage, which forced me to go to the other counter where the girl acted like an asshole.
- Family at passport control completely disingenuous and Chinese guy says something to me, waving me behind him before I started yelling.
- After the confrontation, I get into the wrong lane where a woman looked at my passport for five hours.
- At security check, a Chinese girl had some flatulence and it smelled horrible.
When you connect the dots, you’ll notice how it all happened. From each event, it got worse and worse. It all could’ve been avoided if I used the toilet before going home,
Wow, I was getting ready and in the routine this morning when I saw a YouTube comment. My jaw-dropped, one of my eyes squinted, and then I bursted out laughing.
If only I could’ve used that comment down below to show you the lunacy of this specific individual (likely a 50+ year-old sex/wife tourist residing in Thailand), it would’ve made for a some great comedy.
I was called a MISOGYNIST.
Wait, let me get my breath back.
Ummmm, why would I hate women? Huh?
Why would I hate Thai women? Women who I thought were remarkably open-minded the first time I met them back in 2012 until I saw their true nature in 2013?
How could you even back the fact that Thai women are blatantly and openly racist towards all colored men, especially black?
I was blown away at this individuals lack of empathy, empathic listening, and autobiographical response to a situation. He took everything literally and got very defensive about something I said two years ago? However, no way would he ever comment on my podcasts today. So, what’s the problem? What’s bothering this particular individual and what has irked him? He has an extreme amount of intolerance and doesn’t want to stand on my side of the line, so I’m guessing he too, is a sex/wife tourist who’s of the half-century mark and has a Thai wife who’s half his age.
I have the upmost compassion for individuals like this, but it’s time to face what isn’t working. Here’s my rant in the podcast down below.
I had to weed out some people in my life who aren’t trying to cultivate the right mindset. I can’t be around complainers. This is why I ended up getting scrutinized at work because I was no longer part of the “ain’t it awful” club, which is the older Gen X and B men who literally sit in a circle and complain about the country’s woes.
This was the beginning. When I started removing the garbage from my life, I had so much more time to focus on the good. Remember the conversation I had on my podcast when I told you about a particular individual (the snake who tried getting me fired 2 years ago)? Yeah, finished work at 5pm and left with him back to the other side of town. The amount of bitching he did for the ensuing 45 minutes made me feel so horrible about life, yet he had a girlfriend was was less than half his age and he was also anglo. I needed to draw the line once and for all, and when I did just that, everyone began ignoring me. Shit. Happens.
Another individual I have to mention is the “apparent best friend” who decided to get into a relationship before I bolted to America. This individual got so angry at me that she stopped talking to me. This was mid-October – and later – I had yet another one of those difficult Thailand moments that she wasn’t there to support me and guide me through because of her ego.
I told myself, “it was first October 2014 when she rarely spoke to me. Now it’s October of 2017? She has failed to come through again? She’s off the list.”
I cancelled my ticket based off instinct. Days later I got removed from a terrible company and threatened by someone who has never liked me to this date. Did she shove her personal wants aside to encourage me through the dark clouds? Absolutely not.
I’m quick to remove people. If I feel someone no longer serves a purpose or becomes very bitchy, I’m done. You need to also put up those boundaries.
Gary Vee spoke about this recently. If it’s very difficult to just remove someone in the entire form, just reduce the amount of time you spend with them.
You have your three minute, three hour, three day, and vacation type of people.
It’s hard for me to go into the teachers room with teachers in there because those are three-second beings (lol). Look at the three minute people in your life. When does the conversation go completely south? Have you ever been on a vacation with someone and you wanted to kill them by it’s end? Because they’re not a vacation type of person!
Reach out to the people who have or influence you in different ways. A great example of this would be investor/influencer that I workout with. She’s an amazing person. Yes, she’s Thai — and her husband is — too. However, being around them just makes me so incredibly happy and inspired. Seeing her successful FB photos of her being in Bali inspires me like crazy. Another girl, by the name of Praew, has some of the highest energy I’ve seen in five years living here. I would love to go out with her to a lounge and talk business. Look for people who have those “attractive” personal qualities. Join organizations, businesses, health clubs (such as what I joined to meet the above people) and be around these people who can ultimately be mentors.
When I first landed, I was astounded by the humidity. Yes, I had come here once before, but the humidity wasn’t at this magnitude. Being in Sukhumvit in May is like being in a damn oven – filled with stenches beyond this planet.
I recall meeting up with a teacher — at Platinum Mall in Ratchthewi — and I knew I was going to be in for a mess. Her energy was some of the worst I have ever seen TO THIS DAY! What she said about Thai people (although she’s Thai), how she spoke to me, and how vindictively malicious she was….unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I can go back to my first job in Melbourne, Australia — and first job in Sydney, Australia — both unbelievably bad. Terrible bosses, relentless dentists, and drove me to insanity.
So, coming here I already had some experience. Getting a stomach bug for the first 6 weeks before getting a shipment of Herbalife was a kilogram dropper. That’s right. I lost probably 5KG, eating what was a black egg (not smart at all…I know).
Anyways, I can go all the way to the south of Thailand and tell you about one of the worst experiences I had, and trek all the way up to a northern province called Ang Thong, a place I stayed for only 2 weeks because I knew the racial tensions were evident.
The biggest thing I’ve learned about this entire process has been….purpose. Why did I come here to Thailand to begin with? Why did I continue to remain in a country that wasn’t and still isn’t particularly fond of colored people? Yes, the tides have completely changed and I see the love everywhere, but that wasn’t the case for almost 3 years.
How did I end up developing an inspirational podcast, website, YouTube videos, and so many other things that has brought me a lot of notoriety in the self-improvement and educational realm? Was this my intention to begin with? No.
Thailand, coming up on the 5th year, has taught me to never give up. In the wake of so much racial discrimination, to having bosses (currently) who wants to see me fail. I now know what my true self-worth is compared to years past. When everything went down the way it did a month ago, I immediately told myself, “everything this man is saying right now is a thought form about his monolithic perception of African Americans. None of it has to do with you, Arsenio. However, you don’t deserve this….and my mental capacity doesn’t, either. Could you please start applying for jobs elsewhere so you can discover more?”….
……that’s what I exactly did.
A new job, 6 projects, wonderful people, gorgeous new area of living, etc.
Don’t take the bull*hit from people. When you’re being disrespected, become a lawyer. List out everything that had happened up until that point and then make a decision. Become a “crime solver” and have fun with it. Don’t let the negative suggestions of others dictate your life.
Enough is Enough
I was laughed at, talked badly about by Thai teachers (they make examples out of you real fast), students flipping me off in my face, disobedient. On a number of occasions, I lost my voice. Regardless of the money, I woke up one morning and said, “keep the 900$ USD….it’s not worth my peace of mind and voice.” I collected my last check, left, and never looked back.
Testing The Waters
After going full-time at a place (while beating out another teacher for the position), it took a hell of a long time to get respect. So many “happenings’ took place at this specific language center and there were times that I was as dry as the Sahara Desert — literally. What I mean by that was work and work allocation. There were plenty of times when it was very controversial and work would be distributed unevenly amongst teachers. So one teacher can have up to five-classes in a day and another would have just one.
Towards the end of the year, there would be big arguments with other teachers; teachers holding meetings – pointing fingers at others because they don’t have work; and even my name came along as being an inexperienced teacher.
Well within my rights, I started looking at other places and other opportunities. There were times that specific individuals looked me dead in the eyes and said, “too be honest, Arsenio, it’s actually difficult to get a company when we model a black teacher. It’s easier when we have a white teacher.”
I looked elsewhere and found really abominable beings. I was scraping the bottom of the barrel with the process. There was one specific Japanese individual that literally switched her seats constantly to avoid looking at me. That was not only harsh, but demoralising. Another individual said, “Arsenio, I understand. I saw the looks on my students eyes when you walked by the classroom.” I can’t make these stories up. This was not only inexcusable, but simply revolting actions from Thai and Japanese students.
I kept looking — telling myself that my calling would be somewhere. I knew there were opportunities and money to be made, but it was the bread crumbs that I needed to look out for. If I didn’t find them, they would pass me by. Language Center 1 wasn’t worth the racial hatred, number 2 was about proving grounds…..then there was the big shabang.
The Big Shabang
And as the cliché is told: “the third time is the charm.” BINGO! After a phone call on the morning of Sunday, there was an offering that I simply couldn’t refuse and needed to be selfish. Selfish and Arsenio in the same sentence? Unlikely. However, I was making other people happy and not taking care of my own self or my own damn pockets. What stemmed from this were opportunities which will probably lead to my massive calling within the next few months. Not only that, but throughout this entire process, I’ve been able to travel back home to America in style, Malaysia for my Spartan competition, Maldives, and probably Ho Chi Minh for New Years….all monumental feats and also crossed 15 “101 goals” off my to-do list. This year….only this year, I’ve worked miracles. Seeing Maldives on TV, movies, and dreams – became a reality. Doing a ridiculous difficult competition while befriending the most awesome Malaysians and Pakistani’s ever = accomplishment — all on top of saving so much money.
As I look at my bank account, look at what I’m earning per month, and looking towards the future….all I can really do is cry. Honestly.
This looks delicious, right? Just as a lot of processed foods do that are frozen for days, weeks, months, even years in the aisles from American stores, to Thailand.
Bon Chon chicken. One of many places that are famous amongst generation Z here in Thailand. The “high society” students flock here by the herds everyday to take pictures/selfies with the food they order, completely unaware of the harmful effects of a particular ingredient.
It all began with a particular company by the name of Pizza Company. There was a time I bought a medium pizza, and after devouring it, it felt like I was dying of hydration for the next 16 hours. I woke up in the middle of the night beyond thirsty – almost as if I hadn’t drunk in more than three days. I didn’t really make anything of it until I started chowing down on Bon Chon.
One day I ordered some while teaching one of my favorite students, and I can only tell you within ten minutes, I was drowsy. I was so drowsy to the point I could hardly even move. Just a couple months later one of my students revealed the secrets of an ingredient. Being naive, I thought it was a load of crap until I ate it again and BOOM – SUPPLANTED once again.
Dr. Axe wrote this in one of his articles….
1. ID (and avoid) seriously dangerous additives
It’s not easy to remember all of the worst ingredients to steer clear of, but learning to avoid the most toxic ones commonly found in the food supply can drastically improve your health. A common food additive is monosodium glutamate (MSG) that is very dangerous and affects human body in a variety of ways. Headache, nausea, vomiting, pain in the back of the neck, numbness and heart palpitations are common side-effects of consuming MSG. Monosodium glutamate is an excitotoxin that overexcites the cells in your body to the extent where they are so heavily damaged that they die. MSG also leads to a range of neurological diseases on prolonged exposure.
It’s not easy to find processed foods that are completely free of MSG. Other food ingredients often mask the presence of MSG, including:
- autolyzed yeast
- hydrolyzed protein
- hydrolyzed vegetable protein
- sodium caseinate
- yeast nutrient or yeast extract
- Torulo yeast
- natural flavoring
- glutamic acid
Soy sauce, seasonings, powdered milk, stock, malt, maltodextrin, pectin and anything protein often contain MSG.
That’s a very thorough breakdown of what it is. However, if we shift a bit of our focus to the very bottom, he mentions that “anything protein often contain MSG.” That’s a bit ambiguous because it seems to me as if he’s stating that protein, in general, contains the monstrous MSG.
The most infuriating part of it all is the fact that the FDA makes this available and allows the ingredient to be included in a variety of different foods. I’m perplexed at the fact that something, that can cause death, is still being implemented in foods.
In going forward, and as I have shown in the featured picture, look at the table of contents and if you can, memorize those disguised names.
Wrong question, first of all.
The question should be, “why don’t I love myself?”
Yes, I’ve been in the same shoes as you.
I remember taking a scenic running route in Sydney, Australia (Lane Cove) down to a dock and one of my housemates messaged me and said, “are you ok? You’ve been very quiet?” I retorted, “I don’t think I have a good personality. No one likes me here. I don’t understand why I don’t have a girlfriend.”
The next words she wrote has stuck with me ever since then.
“You have one of the most gorgeous personalities I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life. Where’s your dignity?”
Did that change me? No. However, there was a disruption.
In the ensuing years, especially here in Thailand, I was met with some of the darkest forces and had to take them on head on. Was it me against the women of Thailand? To a certain extent, but it was their negative opinions whereas I became saturated in, “Thai women hate black men,” and literally spewed that rhetoric for 1.5-2 years until I finally got my belief system back.
Postive, reaffirming language will help you. Changing your paradigm is definitely the stepping stone. But there is just one small technique that you can use from today…..just look yourself in the mirror at home. Go on. Have a nice look at your face. Look at the freckles, wrinkles, skin tone, teeth, hair, eyes, eye lashes, forehead and everything. Are you content? Were you ever content? How about your neck down? Are you happy with the way you look in the mirror? My guess is no.
I had an anonymous podcast listener send this to me and it surely resonates within all of us…..don’t become saturated with the beliefs of other fools who shouldn’t be telling their feelings out-loud to begin with.
Start loving yourself form head-to-toe….and you’ll notice a massive difference in the people who come into your life.