The Desire Map | Essential Qualities

If your Core Desired Feeling was a character in your play . . .


Let’s bring more colour and texture to each of your CDFs. The more dimensional and vibrant each word is, the easier it will be to access as a feeling. You want to KNOW and call on that Core Desired Feeling like you would turn to a beloved friend.

What are the ESSENTIAL QUALITIES of each of your Core Desired Feelings?

Essential Qualities are the characteristics or the traits of that feeling—how it expresses itself in the world. Naming just a few qualities can help you root into your CDF.


Grounded = gets 8 hours of sleep. Doesn’t overschedule. Eats organic. Makes decisions with ease. Is deliberate. Surrounds oneself with nourishing people. Loves plants. Hikes. Simplifies.

Vitality = fresh water. Comedy shows. Prana breathing. New bright pillows. Sunday service. Functional medicine. Monthly support group. SMILES, hugs, leans in.

Or! You can write your CDF’s characteristics in a poetic and descriptive way:


Connection . . . is present and open. She’s a good friend. He looks for what’s lovable in everyone. Connection’s favourite word is “resonance.” She shares intimately and deeply—when she feels there is harmony and receptivity. Connection keeps in touch, plans celebrations, makes eye contact. Connection references its body for signals of the truth. He prays. She forms community. Connection plays. Connection thrives with some stillness and silence.

Sacred Feminine . . . is receptive and nourishing. Sacred Feminine receives like a trusting daughter and a graceful Queen. She loves to give her love. She/he is gentle. She is fierce and discerning. She gets to the heart of the matter. Sacred Feminine protects her loved ones. She dances a lot, eats flowers, upholds human dignity. She celebrates her pleasure. She stays close to nature, listens deeply, breathes through the heart. Sacred Feminine is a possibility thinker, feeling deeply, acting with loving kindness.

Ease . . . is the cousin of simplicity. Ease can let it go. Ease chooses the easiest way without compromising its standards. She can be very forgiving. He trusts that life is guiding him. Ease doesn’t give into time pressure—she can be brisk or she can languish, it depends on what feels easy in the moment. Ease is about being close to LIFE, and removing obstacles to that vitality.


The Desire Map | Declare Your Core Desired Feelings

We’re back and it’s time for the declaration of your core desired feelings! I’m not exactly sure if this should’ve gone before or after, but understand that word blessings will be this Friday, so declaring them now is ok, and remember that you can always add and subtract if needed because more exercises will be coming

Live from the heart.

As Carl Jung put it, “Only the dreamer knows the dream.” You know what your Core Desired Feelings are. The meaning of each word or phrase is for you to own and interpret. It does not have to fit a formula. It doesn’t have to be workable or realistic for anyone else—not even your best friend or therapist. Feel your feelings. Aim.


Of your short-listed feeling words, which words make you feel: Expansive and energized?
Grounded and peaceful?
Home and blessed?

Reminder, the definition of a Core Desired Feeling: Your Core Desired Feelings are how you want to feel most of the time—your most preferred states of being. They’re life-affirming feelings—positive and expansive. They’re qualities of the heart—expressions of love and vitality. Your Core Desired Feelings move you toward your Highest Self—to joy, inclusivity, and generosity.

Authenticity: Apply this question to the words you’re most attracted to:

What is [insert potential Core Desired Feeling] really about for me? For example, maybe “confidence” is really about feeling empowered, or elegant, or maybe it’s about respect. Maybe “success” is really about freedom, or love, or being collaborative. Maybe “beautiful” is really about connection or radiance . . .

If you want to keep more than five feelings, go right ahead. If seven is your lucky number, then choose seven words for luck. Fewer words might help you get better results because fewer is much easier to recall, but doing this in a way that works for you is what’s most important.

Make your selections! Choose your four or five Core Desired Feelings— and shine. This is the moment. I’m thinking of you right now, sending love, and whispering into your ear: Core . . . Desired . . . Feelings.


The Desire Map | Broken Self vs. Whole Self

What you build on your self-value will be built to last.


This is a big ask, but let’s leap to it. Assume that you are already whole and worthy. You’re complete. You’re divine. You’re in. Embrace that Universal Truth and let’s work with self love and trust as our guidance system.

There’s the type of desire that flows from faith and self-valuing. It’s a desire that’s building on its worthiness and sense of the possible. It’s a desire that wants to go DEEPER and FULLER. That’s the energy that we want to bring to our Core Desired Feelings. That desire flows from your heart center.

The opposite of that healthy desire is ego-based wanting. We want something that will fix our perceived brokenness. We want something to fill our emptiness. We think something outside of ourselves will complete us.

Try on both perspectives—brokenness and wholeness—and see if either viewpoint changes what you actually want. It may not. Maybe what you’re desiring is being governed by your lack mentality, as well as your inner abundance—both can be at play. Perhaps if you’re in a place of fulfillment and you really don’t have any cravings for more. Or you could be as determined as ever to create what you’re desiring. Let’s see . . .


This is only an exercise, you’re not sending a direct signal to the Universe. Okay? Okay.

Imagine that you feel: broken, defective, in need of fixing. You think you’re behind in life. You wonder if you’ll ever catch up, you question if your dreams are even possible. Doubt is floating around. It’s hard to imagine being fulfilled.

Now! What do you think you need to feel to heal your brokenness? What do you crave to feel?


Take in this truth, let it fill every cell: you are complete, safe, loved, and loving. You are a Divine Being and Life rejoices in fulfilling your desires—you and life are in a dynamic collaboration. You’re perfect in Creation’s eyes. All Love and wisdom dwell within in. You radiate beauty and joy. You live in an abundant, trusting state of flow. Repeat: you are complete, safe, loved, loving, and Life is holding you.

Now! From that place of wholeness, you may not desire anything at all. Your cravings seem to have melted away. You ACCEPT YOUR WHOLENESS! You can flow with Life. If that’s what you’re sensing and perceiving, then the question is: What else do you feel in that state of wholeness? What other feelings would be a celebration of your wholeness?


The Desire Map | How to Go Deeper with Your Core Desired Feelings

This is going to be a short podcast/blog, but understand the essence behind it. To go deep with your CDFs is to make them your entire biological make-up. When people think of you, these feelings/vocabulary should/would emerge. When you see yourself in the mirror every day, you will see the CDFs there. So, here’s how to do it.

Go Deeper.

Fun with CDFs!

Compose an affirmative phrase (in the present) or action statement with your Core Desired Feelings.


Purpose. Ease. Adventure. = I’m creating an adventurous life of

Connection. Radiant. Joyful. Vitality. = I experience joyful connection with everyone and everything around me. My vitality fuels my radiance.

Make an acronym for memory recall: Freedom. Receptive. Elegance. Ease. = F.R.E.E.

The Desire Map | Our Inner Selves: Your Inner Child

This is the critical exercise that ended up changing my life as of last year. Our Inner Child is basically the deeply sensitive part of us. This stems from childhood. If you’re unable to have difficult conversations, don’t have values, and people often walk all over you….it’s because your inner child doesn’t have a choice.

I actually gave an example of this last year by talking about my inner child being tucked away in a corner, crying, in a fetus position. This is how I had been for such a long time; and it would be so hard for me to stand up for me…because that inner child was abused verbally for such a long time.

Through meditative practice and so many other practices, I began giving that child a voice. A voice that was needed and a voice that needed to come together with my verbato self. To have both of these together was life-transforming to the point that I had quit so many jobs, terminated relationships that had me pinned down for such a long time, and that’s when I went into an entire new level of consciousness and life in general.

Here’s the practice.

Ask your Inner Child how they NEED to feel in every LIFE AREA. Their answers are likely simple and pure. Add those feelings to your lists.

My core desired feelings in these areas. Alive and sacred. These are two critical words that I mentioned in my previous podcast. Alive because I as if he was in the corner, and sacred because this is a part of us that needs to be treated in absolute wholesome and with care.

Your Inner Superhero: Every day is your best day ever. You have superpowers and are undefeatable. You are full of confidence and make no hesitations. You assume victory.

Here are my core desired feelings in this specific area. Dynamic, Gaia, Majestic, Holistic, Cosmic, Rapture. These are all the words that I had written down. These are also superpowers of some superheroes in the world. So for me to unconsciously pick some of these words and do this exercise…it all makes sense!.

Ask your Inner Superhero how they INTEND to feel in every LIFE AREA. Add those feelings to your lists.

Here are my core desired feelings in this area. Now, given the life areas and the words I have above, I would love to feel Dynamic in my career, Rapture with my mental health, holistic in relationships, erotic in s** (gonna keep in PG13), but you get the picture!

Your Future Self: You don’t need to see the specifics, but let’s say in three to ten years from now, you’re doing something incredible with your life. You’re deeply well, you’re where you belong with people who feel like home, you’re full of Love.

Ask your Future Self how they are ALREADY FEELING in every LIFE AREA. You’re getting their perspective from the future that has unfolded. These core desired feelings will again, pop up in my future self. My foundational work will be especially important holistically. I would love to give bliss as well as feel it with what I do.


The Desire Map | Figuring Out Your Core Desired Feelings

It’s time to start the process of figuring out your Core Desired Feelings.

“Core Desired Feelings are qualities of the heart. 

Let’s root into this: Core Desired Feelings are your most preferred states of being. They are life- affirming, positive, expansive feelings. They are the various expressions of love and vitality. Core Desired Feelings are qualities of the heart, they pull you in the direction of your Highest Self, into gratitude, compassion, inclusivity, and generosity—your joy and peace in many forms. 

Your Core Desired Feelings are your preferred states of being—the way you want to feel most of the time and most deeply. 


How do you want to feel in each of these areas of your life? Have a riff. Stream of consciousness is the way to go here. Ramble, jam, repeat yourself. Don’t be concerned with duplicating words in different areas. 

A desired feeling doesn’t have to be summed up in just one single word. For example, “turned on” works. So does “at one with nature” or “passionately engaged.” 

Anything goes. Get abstract or specific. Do you want to feel spicy or red or electric? Do you want to feel ten different ways of confident? Then just write it down. Close your eyes and tune in. Let your wanted feelings flow freely. Do not censor yourself. Go deep, keep it light. 

Let it flow, but you don’t have to push yourself to come up with a huge number of words for the sake of variety. If you have only a few words in each section, then you might already be close to the heart of your matter.” – Danielle Laporte


The Desire Map | Soul Limber

“We’re circling your desires and feelings before we dive straight into them. Soul Limber is meant to get you out of your head and more into your heart space. Less logic, more . . . liminal. Answer with the first thoughts that come to mind. ” – Danielle LaPorte

From headspace to heart space. In today’s podcast, we’re going to answer some burning questions and switch from head to heart. This is going to be an incredible exercise, so get ready!