Wheel of Life: July 2019 Edition – TAKE OFF!

Damn, about DAMN time! I mean, having about 300$ to my name (and I’m not saying that embarrassingly, either) was rough. Looking back and saying to myself, “I had x amount in my account and had to bitch at a part-time employer to pay me on-time). This was such a monster, and to be able to weather a storm like that, I’m super grateful.

It was the last little bit of indirect hell that I imposed on myself. I can sit here and complain to one of my branches for not giving me any work, or I can just fess up and say “I allowed this to happen.”

I asked myself, “how can I make more money?”

With a great question comes a series of answers. I ended up making one of my highest salaries in two years (in a single month) and now I’m out of the rut and focusing on what’s important; not to mention that I finally got my visa. No more quick fly-outs and being harassed my immigration officers. I’m now a FREE MAN and can begin traveling to countries I’ve never been to!

All in all, this was a series of dump-offs. This was a very tough month for me both financially and in terms of my brand. Being at the pinnacle and the face of a company and now having been betrayed, deceived, lied to and other things? How about Arsenio just works for himself?

Nonetheless, here’s my wheel of life. Here’s the official take-off. Deadweight has been released. Relationships, which should’ve been dead a long time ago, are officially dead. I dropped out of chat groups and I’ve unfriended people — on top of putting people into my ignore list, including a friend-turned-engaged woman.

Distractions. Too many. People lingering around. People talking to me and having my ear who shouldn’t. I needed to take everyone out, including my content writer. And now, on an entire new slate, I’m more focused and disciplined than ever before.

Wheel of Life

Welcome to the wheel of life, which is a wonderful technique that you can use on a monthly basis to evaluate your life in all areas. This is a great opportunity for you guys to figure out if you have strengths, weaknesses, problems, and writing out solutions to why particular categories are so low.

My monthly scores….

Personal Development — 10

Physical Environment – 9

Romantic Relationships – X

Friends & Family (mine is close circle) – 2

Health – 10

Wealthy – 8

Fun & Hobbies – 4

Career – 10

Podcast

Today’s Podcast

Stephen Covey: Application Suggestions: Emotional Bank Account, Empathy, Closing Your Ears, Autobiographical Responses

It’s time to apply what we’ve already learned about in the blog post: The Emotional Bank Account, with our daily lives.  This has to be the Top 5 most viewed blog on my website.  My guess is it’s providing a significant amount of feedback, and like a lot of writers and other YouTubers out there, they never give an example from their life in regards to them applying the questions and suggestions that books give.  So, here I am to give you a great example.

  1. Select a relationship in which you sense the Emotional Bank Account is in the red.  Try to understand and write down the situation from the other person’s point of view.  In your next interaction, listen for understanding, comparing what you are hearing with what you wrote down.  How valid were your assumptions? Did you really understand that individual’s perspective?

So, the first situation that came to mind was a girl named Zern.  This is a girl I dated towards the end of last year, but things and communication completely fell apart within maybe a two-day period.

What I wrote down was, “she complained about every single detail; from not asking what she wanted out of 7-11, to not picking up the luggage for her at her condo.”  The Emotional Bank Account had become so overdrawn that while driving back to Bangkok, she was spewing an insane amount of pessimism and complaining about even the smallest details.  Her last message was, “you are too independent.”

Am I? Absolutely.  Is there such thing as being “too” independent? Not necessarily.  If I can back track in time and see what I did wrong that day, which was simply not asking her what she wanted from 7-11 (although I didn’t even see her after I came out the restroom), there was more of an underlying problem.  Because I’ve been living alone for so long, I sometimes forget the littlest things.  It’s holding the door open, kiss on the forehead (maybe that’s too much, lol), picking up luggage, washing the dishes, making sure everything is clean when I leave the bathroom, obeying by simple rules.  I’ve been accustomed so much to being alone that I unconsciously do everything based on habits I’ve developed.  Most men in the world go through long spans in life without having another significant other.  I’m one of them.  There was another girl I dated and it didn’t work because she simply said, “we’re too different.”  It’s not necessarily me, but it’s my habits.

What can I do going forward? Well, create a new habit and start practicing being dependent.  However, am I ready for a relationship right now? Absolutely not.  Lol

2. Share the concept of empathy with someone close to you.  Tell him or her you want to work on really listening to others and ask for feedback in a week.  How did you do? How did it make that person feel?

Alissa, a college friend, emailed me after months of terminating the friendship.  She was very sad about my actions in terms of broadcasting what had happened with the botch trip — on FB.  I apologized, pointed out my faults, and I ‘seek to understand.’

She made some valid points, and sure, the friendship could be revived, but after some of the most critical situations in my life….she was never there.  Can I let her back in “close friend” circle? Absolutely not.  That boat sailed.  If there’s something we can do to salvage a “distance” relationship, then fine.  I’m 100% for either decision regardless.

Now, aside from my ridiculous story, I want all of you to use this in terms of rating yourself — the Jack Canfield exercise I talked about a very long time ago. Example.

“Hey, babe, what would you rate me for today?”

“An 8.”

“What can I do to be a 10?”

This could drive people insane because there’s no way anyone is perfect, but establishing close listening and hearing something, without saying a word, can make you a victor and help your relationship.  Synergy!

3. The next time you have an opportunity to watch people communicate, cover your ears for a few minutes and just watch.  What emotions are being communicated that may not come across in words alone?

4. Next time you catch yourself inappropriately using one of the autobiographical responses — probing, evaluating, advising, or interpreting — try to turn the situation into a deposit by acknowledgement and apology.

“Sorry, I just realized that I’m not really trying to understand.  Could we start again?”

Stephen Covey’s Understanding & Perception

The world would be a vast place of harmonious prosperity ONLY IF WE UNDERSTOOD life through the eyes of other people.  If I was the president of any country, I would try seeing and understanding the world through the eyes of other countries that are suffering from poverty, war-torn, nuclear war, and other things that relate to the fall of a Kingdom/Country.

As the days go on, there’s rhetoric being spewed everywhere; from the Gambian president saying “if you want sex, go to Thailand,” to Thai citizens retorting in the most disgusting fashion with racial hatred.  All of this: colorism, racism, fanaticism, religionism, culturalism, fascism, and all other ‘isms,’ is what’s separating not only the countries of the world from each other, but our daily lives.

Remember the reference I made to a colleague that didn’t see life through my eyes?  I, being from Las Vegas, was completely gutted after the terrorist attack that happened last October.  I erupted in front of my students because they giggled about it.  That next month, the “head teacher” tried putting blame on me to why it happened.  I was appalled.  That same individual, within the matter of minutes, began to say that racism doesn’t exist at these companies, although I’ve talked about it a plentiful of times for years.  This is the problem with the very old generations, especially from England and especially wife-tourists.  The bulk of the racism in Thailand comes from anglos; and also in China, too.  When we fail to have empathy for one another, conflict happens.

As you learn to listen deeply to other people, you will discover tremendous differences in perception.  You will also begin to appreciate the impact that these differences can have as people try to work together.

You see the young woman; I see the old lady.  And both of us can be right.

You may look at the world through spouse-centered glasses; I see it through the money-centered lens of economic concern.

You may be scripted in the abundance mentality; I may be scripted in the scarcity mentality.

You may approach problems from a highly visual, intuitive, holistic approach right brain paradigm; I may be very left brain, very sequential, analytical, and verbal in my approach.

Our perceptions can be vastly different.  And yet we both have lived with out paradigms for years, thinking they are “facts” and questioning the character or the mental competence of anyone who can’t “see the facts.”

One time I got unbelievably frustrated at work about 8 years ago because I wasn’t getting any help from everyone.  The practice manager immediately called me in and sat me down.  We (me and the new assistant) didn’t understand our roles in the practice.  It was becoming more confusing as the days went on, so this hearttalk and having the practice manager see what I was going through – through my eyes – made him understand the situation.

SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND