Traveling Blog: Episode 013 – Airport Chaos, Solid VietJetAir, & The Landing

Solid. Just solid all the way around. Let’s first talk about my mishap.

I looked at my flight details for the umpteenth time and realized that I read it wrong, by about 30 minutes. Big deal? Not really, but then the rush came….and when you rush, everything with align with the “not-enoughness” mentality.

I had two perfect train rides, but then got agitated by the mere two stairs at Phaya Thai station in Bangkok.  Only two exits to go down and both on the far-ends.  See what I was complaining about? Pretty ridiculous, huh?

Got to the airport link, which is right over this specific station and I HEARD THE TRAIN.  Could I have run faster to make it? Nope. I missed it by about 2 minutes.  Then, here I was standing on the platform, nodding my head and gasping with discontent, telling myself “this train is going to take 15 minutes to come.” 

I ended up not “living in the moment.” You know? Traveling to Vietnam for the second time to meet beautiful people? THAT MOMENT! It was frustrating that I entered that mindset…and I couldn’t escape it because I kept telling myself, “what if?”…..and the “what if” happened.

Got to the airport. Ran up the stairs and there I was, searching for my gate. I went to information and of course, a rude (typical) Thai girl who was rather pathetic and very unhelpful.  VietJet Air, being apparently the “annoying cousin at a party – airline,” was shoved in Row W, which takes minutes to walk to (this is not like the wondrous Changi Airport where staff are the best in the world….it’s Thailand – lol). So, because I was on the hurry-and-scarcity mindset, who was there to greet me at check-in? An asshole.  DUH! Luckily it was quick, but then I looked at passport control, which is the most annoying in Thailand (there old-style beliefs are criminal), had the longest lines ever.

Wait, it’s Saturday! Arsenio, why the F*** would you fly out on a Saturday, you fool!

I stood in line for 25 minutes and I saw this little girl give me a smile.  OH, SO HEART-WARMING! 5 minutes later, her father is being chewed out by a complete dick of an immigration officer.  Thai culture, I suppose? It’s not the new generation, it’s the broken/poverty mindset.  If someone ever raised their voice at me, I would blow up on them in a heartbeat.  Why? I treat people how they treat me.  If I’m in an amazing country, I would shower them with love.  However, this is Thailand….and you just can’t be nice or you would be taken advantage of. It’s like…Cambodia.  

I then walk to the window and yes, as always, immigration loves just looking at a passport as if they’re going to find some hidden information about me and my whereabouts.  I was batting my eyes at him with my head slanted, shaking my head in disgust and also laughing. Let’s just say I was mocking him, because I knew at the very end, you’re going to give me my passport back and I’m going to call you a stupid.  That’s exactly what happened.  SORRY! If you don’t like it, do something (American tonality).

Enough of the bitching

Ok, minus all Thainess and let’s get into the good – finally.  Two slices of pizza and I’m surprised I even made my boarding time. Gates open 10 minutes after I arrived.  Just a bad day in all…..because I left early? Or because it’s Saturday?

VietJet Air

Remember, when you fly low-cost airlines, they’re not on time. If you think and believe you’ll be on-time with an airline you don’t pay much for, you’re a fool. Was it worth it? HELL YES!

The plane was half-full! The flight attendants had genuine smiles and they are now the most helpful Thai flight attendants in Thailand!  YES! Better than Bangkok Airways, ha! Ascending was sound (even though there was some crazy cloud cover and rain had started coming down over Bangkok), and I had not only an entire row to myself, but also the row on the other end of the fantastic A320’s (I’m a HUGE FAN of AirBus. I don’t trust BEOING and their seat pitch is appalling). Ordered me a coffee (I hate coffee but needed to get some reports done) and just glanced over my right shoulder ever-so-often to see the formations of land down below.

When Defamation Happens

This was odd, but I believe it was the first of what could be a very unwelcoming and complete fall out of what something used to be.

When ex-employees get mad and begin the vilification process, know what you truths, capabilities, results, integrity and everything else is. It’s important in the process.

Let’s just say I used to be one of those ex-employees that would point, blame, discuss, and always rant about the ignorance I had to overcome in the process of overcoming myself. I guess you could say I was a disgruntled ex-employee, and I had to figure myself out. Yes, the boss said everything to me, marketing director said “white teacher instead of black teacher,” and I had to jump in-and-out of hoops just to get work.

Hey, it’s a process I can now make into a personal enrichment course.

Now, when you’re on the receiving end, that’s when things get really interesting.

An ex-employee of mind, who I appreciated so dearly, just started the beginning stages of vilification. I commented recently on an Eric Thomas post, and oddly she posted on my comment (after three days of not speaking to her).

You didn’t practice what you preached in our one year of a friendship.

Ummmm? How so?

Now, most people know who I am and what I represent. When I had first met her, I had doubts because of the weird things she would say, also the ranting she would do on a constant basis at specific individuals and always talked bad about individuals.

Even before that, she had messaged my content writer and said, “I don’t think you will work for him anymore. I don’t think he will work with Motivational Mentors anymore.”

I laughed with my content writer, in an abrupt manner, and said “how does she conjure up this madness?” Both him and I had a really good laugh, but I just said “ahhhh that’s just ________.”

Two days later, it became apparent that she was becoming someone very odd. Not only that, the people who I interviewed once before are now contacting me. She’s trying to — in a way — turn some of these close people against me. So, this was the perfect time to address this issue.

  1. If you don’t hold your half of the bargain and don’t continue getting better, there’s nothing else I can do. This could’ve happen because of me, or possibly you taking me granted.
  2. 100% Accountability. If I no longer need your help, it’s because you’re not improving and making my life easier.
  3. Whatever you say about me is perfectly your opinion, but I know the values I represent.

This post was on a public page. I’ll give her two strikes. This is her first and last one. If she’s going to stalk and comment on things in regards to the companionship we had, I will have to block and ban her from all my pages. It will take a solid 6 months for an individual to overcome that, but you have to quickly address the issue.

  1. Ask your employee for a follow-up talk. Ask them what’s the problem. Heart talk preferably.
  2. Address the issue in bolk via your platforms — not to clear your name, but to provide clarity.
  3. Let things blow over.

What’s your Why?

“No one had to eat out of Trash Cans!” – Eric Thomas

Everytime I hear that, it gives me goosebumps. Could you imagine eating out of trash cans, homeless (because you ran away because of endless lies) and other things that a homeless child would go through? Yes, bullying, depression, and suicidal thoughts…Eric Thomas experienced this, and his goal now is to help people overcome just about anything and everything.

His why? He felt the pain.

Being who I am today didn’t happen because I saw the light, it was because my back was against the wall and I hated myself because people taught me to hate myself. 2015 I said ENOUGH! I’m not going through this anymore! I’m going to create a platform to help others overcome themselves!

And score!

Not only that, but even creating a number of platforms that will help get my story out there and change lives in regards to not only personal development, but English language communication.

I now have my WHY. I now have my purpose.

And even thinking about The Arsenio Buck Foundation? The ultimate life-assignment of them all….boy, I can’t be grateful enough.

But this isn’t about me. It’s about you. I’m scared for a lot of people out there because they don’t know their why. They don’t know what makes them tick. They don’t know what wakes them up in the morning, and this is why I’m here to spread such a profound message and represent an idea for people to finally go after what is theirs in the universe.

What’s your why?

Listen First Trust Tips

  • Think back over your interactions with others during the past week, both at work and at home. Think of a time when you did or didn’t Listen First. What were the results? What would have been the results if you had behaved differently?

Of course, withdrawals. See, this is very important, especially in the world of business. When handling a client, it’s important to know that “they’re always correct.”

Recently I was watching a YouTube series of Heathrow Airport and they featured a man on Singapore Airlines who said, “no matter what, the passenger is always right.” Yes, even if they’re wrong. Remember the technique I gave you a long time ago involving Dale Carnegie and how he handled belligerent wood buyers? Ask the right questions and then make the other personal realize, indirectly, that they’re wrong. It takes strong personal skills to achieve such a feat though.

Nonetheless, if you just listen instead of voicing your opinion, the matter can be handled. Yes, when dealing with First Class and Business Class passengers, these entitled brats would still not say “thank you” and talk about their personal feelings. It’s insanity, and thus why I can’t work for anyone who has these types of individuals.

  • The next time you’re in a conversation, stop and ask yourself, Have I really listened to this other person? Do I really understand how he or she feels? If not, simply stop and do it. Set your own agenda aside and really focus on understanding the other person’s point of view before you share your own.

I’ve gotten FAR BETTER at this! This past Tuesday, I nailed it. When dealing with an investment client and a few other employees from Agoda. I listened….for the very first time, and it felt damn good! I didn’t want to impose my agenda and opinions no subjects, but rather asked the right follow-up questions afterwards.

  • In your company, take proactive steps to understand your stakeholders — both internal and external. Don’t get caught up in the illusion that you know everything or have all the right answers. Consider what you can do to ensure others that you are listening to them and making an effort to meet their concerns and needs.

And this is the ultimate one of humanity. Please, don’t always assume that you’re correct and know everything. This type of broken leadership is why companies completely fall apart — often overnight.

My Nightly Routine

Oh, this has been a LONG time coming, but I’ve finally figured out something whereas I can calm/quiet my mind down towards the end of the night.

I’m not a person who likes teaching past 6pm, but since I was offered a unique class and on the BTS line, I said “ok.” However, I needed to be serious about coming up with a very strict routine in terms of shutting down before going home.

Last year I encountered a couple of sleepless nights. One day I had too much caffeine, pushing myself to a 4am sleeping time (and that was at the assistance of a sleeping pill). Another night I slept 1pm because I didn’t have control of my mind and was thinking about the most absurd thing imaginable (I won’t even say it because it’s that ridiculous). So, I do get anxious, at times, before I go to sleep.

But thanks to Dr. Joe Dispenza’s words, I’ve been able to overcome that: “train your mind and tell it what you want to do.”

So, I told myself “how can I shutdown before getting home?” This was a three-step routine.

So, while walking to the skytrain, which takes about 7 minutes to get to, I’m listening to affirmations. Mind you, social media and everything is turned off for the evening. At 8pm, I’m off of it. I love detoxing from it because sometimes I get messages that I can’t handle at night, and if it’s a message of someone complaining, I would lose sleep.

When I get to my platform which is outside in the sweltering heat, I’m swaying side-by-side, not looking at a soul and just basking the environment all in. Perfect way to live in the moment when there’s chaos around you.

The train comes, I go to the middle (because it’s often packed) set my things down and really start saying all the affirmations under-my-breath for about 5 stations. Once the train makes it over the river, I switch to a Glen Harold meditation and then I start winding down even more, along with some running bath water and rain noises in the background.

By the time I get home, my mind is ready for sleep…literally. Technology has already been shoved aside, and I even put my phone outside my bedroom to charge. I turn on my Bose soundlink, laydown, and smile away, counting the successes that I had achieved that day. Yes, somedays I do the mirror exercise, which helps a lot, too.

So, here’s the podcast of how I do everything little-by-little.

Interviewee #35 – Antonio Centeno, Founder of Real Men Real Style

As I was preparing my morning routine, it dawned on me that I hadn’t message Antonio back from last year. Having come to Thailand, Antonio was in the resort city of Hua Hin, sucking in the sunshine and enjoying family time. He was, however, arranging a meetup in Bangkok, Thailand. Myself, teaching just outside Bangkok (at the time), emailed him and was excited to finally meet him.

Unfortunately the plans fell through and that was the end of that (back in 2017). A thought came across my mind and I emailed him about bringing him on my podcast. After sending a few emails to his assistant, we agreed on a time to bring him on and now yes, the founder of www.realmenrealstyle.com and the unbelievably popular Youtube channel — is here.

Antonio Centeno is the founder of www.RealMenRealStyle.com and a co-founder of Menfluential, a men’s lifestyle and business conference. He has created thousands of articles & videos on men’s style and is the creator of the internet’s best style course for professionals – The Style System

Antonio has studied clothing design in London, Hong Kong, and Bangkok. He is a former US Marine with an MBA from UT Austin and a BA from Cornell College. He loves to hear from old friends and make new ones.

Get in touch with Antonio of Real Men Real Style

Links:

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction given by Antonio Centeno and how he started it all.
  • Why Antonio never gave up after a significant failure in the early parts of his career.
  • Overcoming societal issues with mental toughness.
  • Three ways to build self-confidence.
  • Sharing about prioritising, delegating tasks, building a team and how do you make yourself more productive?
  • How did you manage your time between family time and social media?
  • What are people always getting wrong about fashion?

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6f, https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

The Story of My Student’s Anti-Depressants & How Much Reaction Won

That’s right.

Remember the time my student turned to anti-depressants?

After meeting her at the base of my condo, I felt that there was a “aura” of disparity that was surrounding her. What she normally used to be and what she was at that moment.

After going up the elevator, she had a frown on her face and just didn’t see up-beat like she normally was. Upon entering my condo, she sat down and just looked unenthused. I sensed that something was wrong….she wasn’t happy with her life.

How does a doctor, making a significant amount, fall into such a state? Well, 48% of doctors in America are depressed, so that statistic wouldn’t be too uncommon.

After going over her motivations, taking her through a series of things i normally do and figuring out her center, she was completely unmotivated to do anything. She wasn’t living. The personal development category had hit rock bottom, and so were three other categories.

That day she went home and bought some anti-depressants. Luckily, she told me…and I said..

Wtf are you doing? You’ve identified the problem? People on anti-depressants either don’t know (don’t wanna know) or just masking/numbing what the actual problem is!

Arsenio

She felt my emotions through a message and quickly got off of them. She took literally one, and threw the rest away because she knew what the problem was.

Three days later she signed up with a gym and a few other activities to stop being so redundant with her life.

A few months later, she’s full of joy. I saw her again and I felt a radiation of positivity that I haven’t felt since she came back during a semester break 3 years ago (from Australia). She’s challenging herself and looking towards a job at the USA Embassy.

See, for those of you who believe depressants are going to help you, you’re wrong. You’re numbing the pain. You’re not facing what’s not working; whether it’s your shitty family, terrible job, or boorish friends. Once you isolate the problem and create a solution, those depressive feelings will go away….

…..such as what happened with my ex-student.

Physical Environment: Goals for 2019!

I was on the fence back in 2017.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to take a long journey to South America, or wait it out and see how it played out in Thailand.  Nonetheless, I was a scared child — AGAIN! I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next.  I’m so grateful I stuck things through and battled out a very toxic old job.  Now? Well let’s somewhat review what has happened.

I think I worked at about 6-8 places.  One physical environment, a potential employer that interviewed me (and pressured me to hurry and get a visa) had a stench to it.  I trusted my instincts and bombed everything at the end.

Of course I’ve mentioned the wheel of life on so many occasions already, but what I will do is talk about how bad my physical environment was suffering at the beginning of the year.  From detoxing from a terribly racist job, to almost accepting another terrible job.  I’m so fortunate and grateful that I went with my heart, and now my physical environment is about a 9.5.

However, the focus is you.

Ask yourself these questions.

  1. Am I content with my workplace? If I am, will it take me to the next level next year?
  2. If I’m not growing in my job, what steps can I take to look elsewhere?
  3. How’s my home life? Am I enjoying myself at home?
  4. Do I enjoy coming home at night? Is my neighborhood safe? Is there privacy and serenity where I live?

My condominium has been peace. Sure, there’s an annoying security lady who eavesdrop when I walk into the lobby and gives my students dirty looks “as if they’re prostitutes — that’s the Thai mentality — I suppose.” Other than that, it’s fantastic and I’m resigning a new contract.

How about my job? Well, after a few cold shoulders and misunderstandings, I’ve been working at this “primary” job for about 7 months already.  There are multiple branches of this place…and some places are not good AT ALL, but I’m fortunate to have landed at a great place to teach.  The money sucks, but it’s just a source of income that will be finished next year.  The other places I LOVE!!

So, it’s your turn…..

Listen to “Physical Environment: Goals for 2019!” on Spreaker.

Stephen Covey’s Season 4 – Episode 2: The Economics of Trust

Here we go, people.  Here’s a simple formula that will enable you to take trust from a variable.  Trust affects two outcomes — speed and cost.  When trust goes down, speed will also go down and costs will go up.

When trust goes up, speed will also go up and costs will go down.

Stephen Covey talked about the historic situation that happened on September 11th, 2001.  His trust in flying in America had gone down significantly.  When he would travel before the attacks, it was very easy for him to get through airport security and home in the quick airport routine.  Now there are procedures that take a lot longer at airports.  In recent years, FAA and airport security had come under fire because apparently they were sexually molesting a lot of passengers, including children.  Since then, the reports have plummeted, but you guys get the drift.  His trust went down, speed also went down and the cost went up. 

He also had flown out of a high-risk area in the Middle East.  His trust was super low in this area and had to arrive at the airport four hours before his flight, significantly reducing the speed.  He had to go through several screenings, and his bag was unpacked and searched multiple times by multiple people.  I also saw this when a passenger flying from Dubai to New York (on the flight that apparently 100 people were sick) had the same exact problem.

Clearly, extra security measures were necessary, and in this instant I was grateful for them, but the point remains the same: Because trust was low, speed went down and cost went up.

So, how can I relate this to my life? Well, when I had first flown Southwest Airlines in August of 2006 to Arizona, I flew alongside my friend Ty.  When we took off, I was terrified and tears were running down my face because of the September 11th events. I no longer trusted Americans, flights, airports or anything after that happened.  However, as time went on, I got maybe a fraction better — but still didn’t trust them.

Fast-forwarding it to present day, I live in a hot zone where planes crash quite often (Indonesia).  My students always tell me, “Nok Air and Air Asia are cheap!”  I would say, “I don’t have a cheap life.”  Air Asia, with two inexperienced pilots, got slammed four years ago when a flight going from Jakarta to Singapore fell into the ocean.  The pilots tried climbing elevation too fast and they fell out of the sky.  Human error.

A week and a half ago, Thai Lion Air, which is based at the airport I hate just north of Bangkok, also crashed leaving Jakarta airport.  Jakarta is known for having the worst crash-safety (Russia and north Africa, too), in the world and that scared the hell out of me.

Will I ever fly Air Asia or Thai Lion Air if I go to any part of Indonesia? Absolutely NOT.

I flew Singapore Airlines 2 years ago. Why? Trust is extremely high with them and the speed is fast — however — the cost is high, too.

When the Bali bombings happened in 2003, I asked a colleague (should I go to Bali)? I was terrified of going to Bali after bombings, such as that, had happened.  I then realized my trust in Bali was low because of one event.  If that’s the case, I can NEVER go to New York!

See how silly that is?

So I went, and it was the best trip of my life.

Anytime I travel now, I take the best airlines.  Travel to HK? Cathay Pacific.  Back to America? Singapore Airlines.  As of this year, I told myself I’ll never fly Air Asia again.  The flight attendants are stupendously unprofessional and don’t care about anyone.  The last time I flew with them it was a shaking rollercoaster and a tube with F1 Race car seats inside. I can’t do it anymore.

When I fly now, I fly out of the main airport.  I don’t go to the old airport anymore in the north. Why? I don’t trust the security, check-in, staff, food, or ANYTHING there.  Sure, the speed is high and the cost is low, but without trust, I just can’t do it.

 

Podcast

Coaching Session 002: The Follow-up With My Colleague — Changes Are Happening!

So, if you guys haven’t already read the blog or heard the podcast about my colleague who is/was depressed, I suggest you do that, first.

Now, just recently I had my colleague make some significant changes in her life.  I had her write down the list of everything she likes to do, passions, what are her strengths, and other things.  I’ve struck gold with it.

Over the next week, she seemed a lot happier.  She paid $500 bucks for dance lessons, and this was awesome because she’s always dancing at work.  She committed to fitness by making videos on Instagram, showing herself doing squats and other exercises.

Shortly following that, she sent me her list in regards to the positive things about her and this is what she wrote.

  1. What are my natural gifts? Making people laugh.
  2. What are my skills? Organizing and acting.
  3. What do I enjoy? Dancing, singing, taking photos.
  4. When do I feel most alive? When I’m with friends.
  5. What am I passionate about? (still undecided)
  6. What brings the greatest joy in my life? Good work, taking care of my mom, good family (all conditionals though — nothing in the present)
  7. When do I feel best about myself? Helping others.

 

Strengths

Listening

Challenges

Commitment

 

Now, her natural gifts, skills and enjoyment interlink with each other, but there are still some areas that she’s not exactly sure about and that we need to tap into.  Also, living in a country like Thailand, most people aren’t good at giving positive reinforcement and feedback with peers.  In the spot where it says “what have people always said I’m really good at,” there wasn’t anything.  This isn’t an issue, but culturally speaking, this isn’t good.

Nonetheless, she did message me and tell me that she feels much better and she claims that it’s fromt he medication at the psychiatrist.  However, that’s actually the problem. With Fish Oil, Vitamin D tablets and 20 minutes of exercise a day, she can wick away those “depressive thoughts.”

That’s the next big step in my coaching with her.

Podcast